Slippery Soap Suds
by isis chandra wu
Summary: Chapter 14 UPDATE! "You make me wanna do things.” -- Hermione hates Draco, Draco hates Hermione, same old story. But will things change when they discover how slippery soap suds can be?
1. Dance Fever

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/n: ahem ahem… 1st attempt on a HP fic…although I've tried (Hellish, Draco-Harry would come later…I've written like five lines!" Anyway, this baby is also my first attempt on exclusive heterosexual relationship (boy-girl)…so pardon my "fumbling and all"…although the title (which btw, freaking resembles that of a harlequin SuperRomance…gag!) kind of gives a hint. Suggestion for better titles totally welcome!

EDIT: So I've decided to edit the first few chapters of this baby. Just to get those first-time readers wanting for more. (Because I'm an evil biatch like that who wishes that _Harry Potter_ is mine and not J.K. Rowling's. D)

-.-.-.-.-

**CHAPTER I: DANCE FEVER**

"So, who's the lucky lady you're going to take to the winter dance, Harry?" Ron Weasley asked, leaning towards his friend, eager for his answer.

_Me, of course… Hermione Granger. Right, Harry?_

Harry Potter stopped what he was doing (which was pretty much nothing considering the fact that he was just doodling the undoubtedly ugly faces of Snape and Malfoy). He darted a quick glance at a furiously busy frizzy head, and looked at Ron blankly. "I don't know yet."

_Sigh… I know, I know… Harry likes me… as a friend. He does like "like" me…only in my dreams._

"No idea yet?" Ron's eyes were bulging. "But this is no ordinary dance, Harry!" He lowered his voice so only Harry could hear his next words. "It's high time you got yourself a girlfriend… and you know who I mean." Both took a glimpse of Hermione Granger who was still buried in her books, forever the saintly Gryffindor nerd.

"How about you, Hermione?" Ron turned to her. "Who are you going to the dance with?"

_Harry, of course…_

"Hermione?"

_I said, Harry! Of course, that is, if he still can't find someone 'til the last minute… Then, I'd sort of represent him, and it would be very much like a date…_

"Hermione!"

"Huh?" The girl looked up from her work, pretending she hadn't heard. "Sorry… what were you trying to say?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "Look at this girl! She's paying more attention to her books than her own friends… We just wanted to know who your partner for the dance will be."

"I don't know," Hermione answered, too quickly. "And I don't really care… It's just some dance. I don't even get a grade for fumbling around with some guy." Oops. Too mean…

"Well, if you don't have…" Harry stammered, gathering his courage and finally deciding that this was the right time to slip in his invitation.

"She doesn't have a social life," Ron cut in. "She hasn't even heard of it!" Harry cursed silently, wishing that somehow by some sick twist of fate, Ron's tongue would just fall off his mouth. _Great timing, you git!_

The girl's eyes narrowed. "Of course, I have… At least, I have a life! Unlike other people who're too busy frolicking around, annoying other people, to notice that _they_ are the ones who actually don't have a life!"

"What got you so infuriated all of a sudden?" Ron attacked. "I was just telling you to…expand your horizon or something like that… No need to get all loud-mouthed at me! Girls…"

"What's wrong with girls?" Hermione protested, her feminist side taking a hold of her. Conversations with Ron somehow always end up in fights.

Ron stared murderously outside the window and grumbled something about girls and their monthly periods and hot heads…

"Uh, guys…" Harry started. This was getting _kinda_ out of hand.

"Shut up, Harry!" Hermione barked. "I wanna hear Ron explain…"

Ron faced Hermione with a quite shocked/ furious look. "What is your problem? I was just asking an innocent question here and you had to make such a big deal out of it. You know what? That's your problem! You're so bloody moody! Moody moody moody mu- "

"What? Say it!" The others were starting to stare. It wasn't unusual for Ron and Hermione to fight during study hall. It was a weekly live freak show, but to have Ron almost call Hermione something was a new episode.

"You want me to say it? You really want me to say it? M…m…"

"Stop it, guys!" Harry interrupted before Ron could say something he would regret later on. He turned to the frustrated girl with concern. Hermione sure was crabby today. Usually she just shrugs off Ron. It wasn't her habit to stoop down to Ron's level (not saying Ron's level is low or anything like that). "Are you okay, Herm?"

Hermione reddened madly. What could Harry be possibly thinking? This was all Ron's fault! She abruptly stood up and snapped, "Yes, I'm fine! Thanks for asking, and sorry I've ruined your day!" She gathered her books and stomped off somewhere, anywhere her feet would take her, any place where she could sit and cry her heart out in solitude. _I really don't want to be emo right now but the restroom sounds like a good idea…_

-.-.-.-.-

"What?" Draco Malfoy spewed frogs' legs at Lavender's made-up face, which now resembled green scrambled eggs.

Lavender wiped the mess from her face, trying to control her anger, and repeated for the OH MIGHTY KING for the hundredth time, "I'm reminding you to buy me a corsage!"

"I heard!" Draco spat. "What for?"

"We're partners for the dance, remember?" Lavender sighed exasperatedly. How could a Malfoy be such a moron?

Draco frowned. "I don't remember. I never had plans of going, anyway… And if I had to go with someone, it definitely wouldn't be you! Fussy Gryffindor fangirl…"

Lavender gaped at him, not believing the words that came out of Draco's mouth. Okay! She did make up that part… but did he have to be so mean? She may be a Gryffindor and he may be a Slytherin but there is still such a thing as love! (End dramatic moment). "Why! – "

Draco raised an eyebrow at her, mouth too full to diss her away. Lavender harrumphed and left in a state of delirium.

The Great Malfoy continued devouring the enchanted exotic dishes served. He thought of the winter dance, and decided it was a good idea he dropped Lavender. The night would just be wasted on star-gazing. Elch! Girl stuff... How could they even connect everything with romantic lovey-dove stuff?

_So maybe I'm too judgmental… Well, I don't have any problems about that love stuff. My mother would pick out a girl for me – from a sophisticated family of equal class as us – and we'd be married. She'd continue the Malfoy generation, and I'd continue living my life, upholding our name until the day Death will kiss me off to non-existence._

_Ha! A guy like me would never love… I WISH I NEVER FALL IN THE CLUTCHES OF LOVE!_

His thoughts were broken when he heard a commotion from the Gryffindor side. His ears picked up Potter's voice. The dweebs were fighting! He turned just in time to see the mudblood exit the Great Hall. He snickered as an idea hit him. _And if I do fall in love, I swear it would never be with a mudblood…especially one like Granger! No… _especially_ Granger!_

-.-.-.-.-

"Have you heard?"

"Uh-huh! The winter dance is arranged!"

This particular line struck Hermione as well as the others. Whoever heard of an arranged dance? What is this, the 14th century? She leaned closer to hear more of the conversation, which had already attracted a lot of other students.

"But that couldn't be! Malfoy and I had plans already!" Lavender.

"Will you shut up and stop telling people we're partners? If you don't want me to turn your face into an ass!" Draco walked in, shouting at Lavender, followed by Crabbe and Goyle: _Tweedledee and Tweedledum._

_Ugh,_ Hermione thought, quite disgusted at the girl's choice. She still couldn't believe how Lavender could idolize such a guy. No, such an animal! Draco was **not** the man of her dreams…and never will be.

"But I heard Dumbledore already agreed to it…" Neville.

"…and risk turning the dance into a big flop?" Ron.

Hermione felt a quick jolt of guilt pass through her. She hadn't meant to be such a sap to Ron. Yes, it had been two days since the study hall scene…and no, nobody made a move. Not even Harry.

"Maybe we could let McGonagall confirm all this…" Harry suggested. _Oh, Harry… If the winter dance is arranged, we could never be partners! _Hermione thought, hopelessly.

"Yeah!" Ron agreed, getting into the spirit. "We could tell her how we all feel!"

"I'm afraid I can do nothing about that, Mister Weasley," Professor McGonagall joined in, breaking the group. Everyone slipped into their seats, eager for the news.

The teacher cleared her throat. "As Mister Longbottom had said, Professor Dumbledore had approved of this idea, which I personally believe can help take care of certain strains between the houses…"

Everybody groaned. The teachers always tried to do this – Hogwarts United and all that crap. As if they never learned their lesson that things like this just do NOT work. This was turning into a disaster!

"BUT!" Professor McGonagall tapped on her desk for silence. "We, the teachers, do not arrange you… the partnership will be at random and in secret until the day of the dance. Only the Heads will know the identity of your partners…"

"Looks like this destroys any chance of you and 'you-know-who'…" Ron whispered to Harry, who nodded gravely.

"But how will we know who our partners will be?" Parvati cried.

"Yes… I was getting to that," Professor McGonagall said sternly. "You will know your partners by a certain codename…"

"How juvenile!" Draco, who had been silent throughout the whole discussion, finally commented. "Who even thought of such crap?"

Professor McGonagall's cat eyes cut through Draco's blue ones. "I don't tolerate the use of vulgar language, Mister Malfoy… But if you really wanted to know who suggested this idea, it was Professor Snape…"

Draco reddened, and mumbled something that sounded very much like _magoggles_ and _pitch_ in one sentence.

"I guess it's time for you to start thinking of your codenames," the professor ordered. "I'm giving you seven minutes and then we'll start the selection."

"I don't think that's necessary in my case, professor," Draco said with his signature smug smirk. "…because I'm not going to the dance…"

"Ho! Ho!" Professor McGonagall chuckled, and added, "Before I forget, this particular dance is graded…and absence would cost fifty points off your house." She smiled sweetly at Draco. "Thank you for reminding me, Mister Malfoy."

"What?" Draco burst out, fists balled. But the teacher just ignored him, and sat on her chair instead.

"Let's see… four minutes more!"

-.-.-.-.-

_What kind of girl would use a codename as "September Nymph"? _The blonde wondered, frowning at his choice. The selection had been finished, and from the looks of it, everyone seemed as if they were actually enjoying the whole mystery thing. _A loony, perhaps?_

His eyes scanned the room and fell on Lavender, who was still crying at the sudden turn of events. _Pathetic psycho?_ He shuddered and continued searching, stopping at the new girl, Gwen. _Hmm… Not bad._

Then, a certain bush of wild hair caught his attention. Hermione Granger. _Mudblood… _The word seemed to burn his tongue. _Never…_

Draco was actually staring at Hermione abnormally long, and the boy noticed too late. Hermione had locked her eyes with his in something like a stranglehold. Draco curled his lips, as if to say, _You got no right to look at me that way. _When Hermione scowled and looked away, he laughed.

_Mudbloods…weird lot…_

-.-.-.-.-

"And what's his problem?" Hermione seethed, irritated at the Slytherin boy's subtle yet weird insult.

"What are you saying, Hermione?" Neville asked her.

Hermione quickly faced him and smiled. "Uh, nothing! Who did you get?"

"Witchweed…" Neville replied. "I hope she turns out, well, better than I hoped for… Are you, by any chance, Witchweed?"

"No…" Hermione answered, a bit puzzled. _What was my name anyway?_ She racked her brain for the alias she used. "Wait…I don't remember!"

"Now that you mentioned it…" Neville started, scratching his head. "I don't remember mine, either!"

"No offense, Neville but you always forget… But I! I **never** forget!" Hermione wailed. There was a buzz as everybody else noticed they, too, had forgotten theirs.

"Calm down, everyone!" Professor McGonagall said over the murmurs. "I made you all forget your codenames to avoid any spills. Nothing's wrong with you…" She looked at the distressed Hermione who sighed thankfully.

"So, who did you get?" Neville went back to the topic.

Hermione frowned. "Some guy named 'Dragonsbane'…"

"Ooh… macho!" Neville joked.

"Ha! We don't know, Neville…He just might turn out to be my prince charming," Hermione joked along. Then, grumbling to herself, she focused her attention back to her essay. "Not that I care…" _If it had been Harry… What if he was Harry?_ She beamed at the thought as inspiration fueled her hand to writing. _Life sure was sneaky._

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: If you still didn't get what the m word Ron was about to say to Hermione, then you're a loser. :P I didn't change chapter 1 around so much, just some minor changes to grammar and sprinkled a few more words here and there. Wouldn't want the Slippery Soap Suds virgins to be discouraged! ;) So head on to Chapter 2 now!


	2. More Than Words

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: Okay, so first of all, I wanna thank all those guys who reviewed the first chappie of mah first HP fic evah! Although the reviews were not that much, it's kinda heartwarming to know a few people actually find it good…hehe To be totally honest, this actually got more reviews than my shounen ai/yaoi fics for the first chapter…maybe PG doesn't seem so bad…

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! Wink

**Chapter II: More Than Words aka When Hitting Malfoy Becomes A Hobby**

"I miss her so much, Ron…" Harry whispered behind the Big Book of Booboos, and glanced at the brown tuft of hair showing through the usual high pile of books.

Ron sighed (in relief or in disgust, who knows?). "Of course we do, Romeo! You think I don't? But she has to learn to lower her pride and come to us."

"Knowing Hermione, I doubt that would happen."

"Well, she'd have to," Ron remarked, putting his attention back to the miniature dragon he was sculpting. Or so he thinks he is.

"I just don't think we're being fair to her…"

"Oh, shush! Just a couple more minutes…"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Suddenly, Neville sped to the room. He was all red and panting, and he was carrying a small package, which he threw at Hermione's direction.

"For you, Mione," he said, covering his ears.

Hermione looked up from her homework. _For me?_ She saw Neville cover his ears and said, "What…"

Then, she understood. She got a Howler.

"From who?" She asked, carefully opening the thing. She couldn't think of anything offensive that she has done. She was Hermione Granger after all – top student extraordinaire and the greatest witch of her time!

Neville didn't answer.

"Wait 'til you see this, Harry!" Ron whispered, grinning from ear to ear. "You're never gonna stop thanking me!"

Harry's blood froze. He didn't like this at all. "What did you just do, Weasley?"

Everyone was looking at Hermione now, or more specifically, waiting what the howls would be about.

Hermione sucked in her breath as she saw it. This was no ordinary Howler. The smoke inside was…pink? Strangely, it also brought out the scent of roses. A few girls giggled. _Is this some kind of joke?_

Ron's eyes narrowed. "There must be something wrong with it… Why isn't it – p"

**I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND EVERYTHING!**

Gasps! Hermione went red. Blood red. _This is NOT happening to me!_

**HOW MUCH YOUR FACE BRINGS GOOSEBUMPS ON MY SKIN… HOW MUCH YOUR SCENT ALONE BRGIHTENS UP MY DAY… THIS IS LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!**

Everyone went silent as they digested the screams. Then laughter erupted as recognition struck them.

Hermione went numb as Draco Malfoy's voice continued praising and worshipping even the tiniest details about her, as all the Gryffindors discovered her daily morning habits and Saturday night rituals, how she combs her hair every night a hundred times just like how her granny taught her, how she always straightens her back before raising her hand to answer, how she secretly cries in the girls' dormitory when she gets a B, even the fact that she wears a bra one cup smaller than her breast size to make them look overflowing. Hermione hoped all the birds in the Owlery would escape and peck her flesh to death. _This is definitely a joke! A mean one, at that._

Ron's knees weakened. _Malfoy? Okay… This was not supposed to happen! Wait 'til I get my hands on those two!_

"You think this is funny, Ron?" Harry turned to his best friend in disbelief. "Hurting Hermione like that? I wouldn't have believed you could cook this up if you hadn't told me beforehand!"

"But this wasn't my idea!" Ron started, trying to defend himself. "Okay! It was mine. But it was supposed to be **your** voice in the Howler and – "

Harry's eyes bulged at the point of whatever. "And you planned to humiliate me too?" Harry said hotly. "I cannot believe this!"

"Harry…" Ron tried to explain. "I'm sorry! This isn't – "

"This isn't what I wanted, Ron." Harry finished, walking towards the stunned Hermione and painfully ignoring Malfoy's shit voice shrieking sweet nothings.

The laughter stopped when Harry took and dropped the Howler in a glass of water. But before he could hand it to the girl, Hermione snatched it from his hands, and slammed the door as she rushed teary-eyed towards the Slytherin hall.

Neville uncovered his ears and asked. "What happened?"

-.-.-.-.-

"**OF ALL THE UNFORGIVABLE THINGS YOU'VE DONE, THIS IS THE MEANEST!"**

Draco sat stunned, staring at the Mudblood hurling insult after insult at him. Not that he was underestimating the Mudblood's anger or whatever… It's just that self-restraint is everything she has that he hasn't. Now seeing her enter the Slytherin common room, all wild with fury made her look so… exotic and all.

"What are you trying to prove, you bastard?" Hermione spit out, unafraid of the cunning eyes of the Slytherins, especially that of their Little Prince.

Malfoy let out a bored sigh. "Now what have I done, Mudblood? Here I was, harmlessly plotting against the Golden Trio and you make a scene with a friggin' glass in hand!" He breathed out. "How did you get in, anyway?"

"Mermaid's tendrils," Crabbe said. "She knew the password."

"**After** you **told** her, you idiot!" Malfoy snapped.

Hermione's mouth formed an O of shock. _What have I done? What have I done! You don't know what you've done!_ In a flash, she released the Howler, and out came the Slytherin Prince's voice – mighty and regal and madly in love with her, complete with rose scent.

The Slytherins were much crueler compared to the Gryffindors. They snorted and farted and laughed their asses off as Malfoy shouted "I LOVE YOU!" over and over again.

Draco went beet red as he heard himself declaring – yuck – love at the – yuck – Mudblood – of all the people to profess emotions to! Now, he knew what the filthy little git had been up against.

He threw the Howler on the floor and crushed it beneath fine polished leather. "Now, what's there to laugh about, you dimwits?" He shouted at his fellow Slytherins who began returning to their previous tasks.

He turned to Hermione, face stiff and pink. "I wasn't very pleased, Mudblood."

"So was I!" Hermione answered boldly.

"Correct me if I'm wrong…" Malfoy started, folding his arms. "You think **I** brought **you** this goddamn Howler?"

"You can't deny it was you there shrieking like a banshee."

"Why the hell would I want to humiliate myself like that?" Malfoy snapped.

"How the hell would I know?" Hermione countered. "You're the one who lost his sanity here!"

"Wait wait wait!" Malfoy interrupted, an idea cracking open in his head. His eyes cut deep through Hermione's brown ones. "Could it be that YOU plotted this to humiliate ME?"

Hermione's jaw dropped. How could he? How dare he?

Malfoy reveled at the sight of her bewildered hurt expression. Priceless! "Unbelievable, Mudblood! Didn't think you'd stoop this low just to hurt me a bit!" He chuckled. "Never expected you to actua – "

SLAP! Draco's cheek stung like hell after Hermione sent a cold hard slap at his oh-so-beautiful face.

She pointed a finger at him accusingly; her eyes shaken and teary at the sides. "You don't know me, Malfoy. You don't know me one bit!" With that, she stormed out of the room, leaving a Draco shocked beyond words.

Malfoy bit his lips and tasted the sweet blood from his mouth. _Shit!_ He couldn't help but smile. He saw the Mudblood in a whole new light – sadly still as annoying as Farfarello the devil but a strong and sexy version. Not to mention, blood freaking turns him on. _Shit, I must be a masochist!_

-.-.-.-.-

Hermione sat up in bed groggily. She seemed to be stuck in last night's dream, receiving a Howler from Malfoy, she slapping his face off… What a dream!

She then washed her face and brushed her teeth, still pondering on the thought. It only it were real… she would kiss Harry on the lips!

Ginny's face appeared and said, "You're not dressed yet? Hermione, you're going to be late!"

"Oh Merlin!" Hermione exclaimed, hurriedly putting her underclothing and preparing her books. She went to her drawer to get her clothes and groaned. "I don't have my robes! And the house elves are still washing my other stuff!"

Ginny tapped her foot impatiently. "Then wear you ordinary clothes without the robes for the meantime and ask McGonagall's permission."

"Okay…" Hermione grumbled, stepping into an off-white sweater and red checkered skirt. "This is gonna be another of those nasty days…"

-.-.-.-.-

"I'm going to give you permission, Miss Granger," Professor McGonagall said, eyeing Hermione's muggle clothes with distaste. "But I don't want another case like this."

Hermione nodded. "Yes, professor."

"I mean, this is so unlike you…" The professor continued. "But seventh year is really kind of the weird phase for the students and all. Run along now or you'll miss Professor Flitwick!"

Hermione thanked the teacher and rushed out of her room. She looked around for Ginny who she thought would be waiting for her. "Rats, she left without me!"

She glanced at her watch. 8: 56 A.M. She'd have to go all the way to the top floor in four minutes!

Hermione thought of all the horrible grades she'd get if she'd miss this class and how convenient it would be if she still had that time turner. In her hurry, the books she'd been carrying cluttered to the floor. More bad luck!

It took a while for a passing Draco to notice her but with a little bit of pink underwear showing, he couldn't control himself for stopping,

gaping,

not breathing.

As Hermione finished picking her books up, a familiar drawl greeted her. "Good morning, Mudblood!"

Malfoy. Could this day get any worse? Hermione straightened up and faced him. "Quite a good mood you're in today, you egotistic hippopotamus…"

"Who wouldn't?" Malfoy shot back, that signature smirk spread across his, uh, disfigured face. "With me getting a nice view of your slip showing… A nice way to start the day…" He chuckled at Hermione's blushing face. "Too bad it was a Mudblood's," he added.

Hermione tried to calm herself. _Okay… This git doesn't deserve your attention, Hermione… so don't give it to him._ She forced a smile. "Glad you appreciated the view… A Mudblood's slip turns you on?"

_The little bitch!_ Draco thought, as Hermione turned to go, victorious. "We aren't done yet, Mudblood."

Hermione's head snapped towards his direction.

Malfoy continued, touching his lip. "I slept with a quite swollen lip last night, with my own voice ringing in my ears, endlessly screaming those horrible things."

Hermione paled. _So that explains his bruised face…It wasn't a dream after all!_

"If I know…"Malfoy stared intently at her. "You're trying to seduce me! Well, if that isn't cute? A little Mudblood slut trying to impress the Prince of Princes! Ha! I've had better…and I wouldn't settle for LESS." He smiled smugly, loving the feeling of superiority and power.

Hermione, on the contrary, kept silent, brooding as her despise for this spoiled brat reached the limit. She placed her books on the floor and took a step towards him. "First of all, Malfoy, I don't care how many times you call me a Mudblood. But SLUT is another thing! Second, and definitely the most important, don't even think I would fall in love with an asshole like you. Even if you were the last living man on earth, I'd rather make love to an animal! Remember that, Malfoy: you're less than an animal to me."

"Shut your cocksucking mouth, you slut."

And for the second time, Hermione wiped the smile off Draco's ass, sending him tumbling to the floor. She never really thought she was capable of punching him to the ground all at once. But she did! Ha!

The Slytherins nearby rushed to Draco's aid. Malfoy moaned at the sudden blow and additional pain. "Oww!" He glared at Hermione.

Hermione got her books and faced him for hopefully the last time. "You never learn, do you?" She ran off to nowhere. Flitwick didn't seem very important then.

Malfoy got up with effort, rubbing his face. He didn't bother going after the Mudblood, and just walked away. He cursed himself for being so turned on with the pain. By a Mudblood no less!

"Malfoy…" A Slytherin called.

"What?" He grumbled, not looking back.

"How could you let her get away with that?"

Malfoy didn't answer. He couldn't.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Hope u like it! Malfoy's doing a quite good job as a punch bag, dontcha think? Haha! Pls tell me if I had done something wrong or whatever you didn't like and all that crap! How? Just push that button! Go! Go! Go! Hekhek ;p


	3. Hand Me A Rubber Ducky

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N:So I'm back! And again I wanna thank you all for the reviews! Wheeee! You made me so happy! Suggestions so accepted!

In this chappie, I wanna warn the faint-hearted and the totally conservative freaks out there who won't even allow HP characters or any character for that matter to even just peck…this is not your chapter. I repeat, this is not your chapter!

But if you wanna read it, well I don't really care. It's not like I can do anything about it, right?

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! Wink

EDIT: I have no fukkin idea why I always used that line (points to the above sentence) LOL

**Chapter III: Hand Me A Rubber Ducky**

Tears. Painful, morose, morbid in a sense. They make one truly human.

Hermione hated crying. It made her feel small and weak. All over again. But tonight, she was crying her ass off to the extent of making her eyes swell. She hated herself for that. But most of all, she hated Malfoy. No, ABHORRED him.

She got up and took her towel. _I have to take a bath. Somewhere no one could think of finding me…_

-.-.-.-.-

Blood. Painful, morose, morbid in a sense. They make one truly human.

Malfoy hated blood. It signified weakness, surrender, failure. Sad how tonight, he loved the feel of it. Of being under somebody else's power, even if it took a Mudblood to release him from the grip of power. He hated himself for that. But most of all, he hated Granger – with her courage and tush.

He got up and took his towel. _I have to wash up. Somewhere no one could think of finding me…_

-.-.-.-.-

Alessandra Van Dell meant the past for Draco Malfoy. For years, he has kept the memory of her in his closet. She meant the end of his life.

When he was eleven, just before he entered Hogwarts, his mother secretly engaged him to one of their family friends. After discovering this, he himself went to the other party and cut off ties with the girl. In a way, he rebelled to his mother and engaged himself with their servant's daughter. At first, it was all fun and games, with Lucius following their every move; however, things changed for the two, especially when Draco went to Hogwarts.

Every night, different owls would send letter after letter to Alessandra. Every time the holidays or vacation would come, the thought of her brought him back to the Malfoy Manor, like it or not. He kept telling himself it wasn't love or anything like that, but the closest he ever had to something true and strong. That's why Alessandra was special. But during his fourth year, Malfoy learned that she died of suffocation in one of their kitchens. He didn't believe that story.

Somehow, he knew Narcissa had strangled her to death. Why else would she be moping around the house, glassy-eyed and paranoid? Her guilt betrayed her and Malfoy hated that woman who called herself his mother.

Looking at himself now in the mirror, stripped of everything but his name, he saw there was really nothing Draco owned. All of him was Malfoy.

_To hell with these thoughts,_ he thought, annoyed. He looked towards the hot bath, and raised a brow. _Somebody prepared for me!_

He dipped a toe in the water before submerging his right foot. The water was warm and scented – just as he liked it. He plunged his other foot into the water…only to step on a lump of flesh.

"What the - !" In fright, Malfoy slipped and fell face flat into the steaming water as he struggled with the flesh which began attacking him. It slipped its slippery fingers around his neck and choked him to death. He tried to claw at it but the soap suds were making it difficult for him to see. Nearly running out of oxygen, the flesh rose from the water, with Malfoy following closely.

Draco was grasping for air, feeling nauseous from the whole wrestling thing. He heard the other thing panting, too – human. He faced his attacker only to be mesmerized by a familiar-looking chestnut mane.

"Could it be…?" He whispered. His heart beat wildly at the possibility. Even in the dark, he was certain it was she.

"Alessandra?" Malfoy called out, and Alessandra Van Dell was resurrected.

-.-.-.-.-

Hermione Granger gasped for breath. There's something under the water!

But the other thing was gasping, too. It must be some kind of human or –

"Hermione?" The other thing called her. She knew this voice anywhere!

"Harry?" She croaked as she finally caught sight of her "monster". She laughed. "All this time I was just fighting you! What are you doing here in the Hufflepuff bathroom?"

"No…" Harry replied, a bit puzzled. "What are **you** doing here?"

"Taking a bath, you s – " Hermione stopped as she remembered all she had on was her swimsuit. She blushed as she glanced at Harry's wet naked torso, coming towards her.

_**Coming towards her!**_ Hermione's logic was screaming with alarm. _No, Hermione! Stop him!_ Not one more step or everything would topple down!

"I've waited so long to see you again, Mione…" Harry said huskily. They were now only a foot apart, and Harry's minty aftershave was doing stuff for Hermione's stomach. "Thought it was the end for us…"

"What end? This isn't right…" Hermione stammered, looking everywhere, anywhere but him. "Somet-"

Harry silenced her with a kiss. Hermione melted and gave in. She thought at first that he would be the shy, fumbling type; au contraire, he was aggressive, furious, experienced. She closed her eyes as Harry's hands sent jolts of electricity down her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck – this time certainly not to choke him – and prayed that this was not just another dream.

-.-.-.-.-

_She was strangely subdued. Calm, unruffled. Tame. So far from the Alessandra I've known. Time has sculpted her so differently…_

_But I've missed you so damn much!_ Malfoy thought as he continued to trail kisses down her velvety neck. How he longed to bite, or even just suck, that soft flesh!

Without thinking, he nibbled at the smooth skin, unable to restrain himself. But Alessandra just moaned and urged him on.

"You like that, eh?" Draco murmured and bit harder into the other side, smiling to himself as Alessandra gasped in pleasure spiked with pain.

"Draco…" Alessandra pulled him in a tight embrace; his insides churning at the warmth emanating from their bodies. He held on to her tightly. If only this would last forever…

-.-.-.-.-

Giggle. Giggle.

"Did you say something?" Draco asked, surprised.

"No…" Hermione shook her head, embracing him tighter. "Do you really care if I say something at this crucial moment?" She gave him a teasing grin.

Draco smiled back, busying himself with her neck.

"Now **that's** an odd couple!" Giggle. Giggle.

This time, they both heard it. Malfoy and Hermione looked to see where the voice came from: up. Moaning Myrtle.

Giggling, the ghost floated towards the two, her plasma mind still trying to understand this absolutely astonishing secret affair.

She knew these two… They weren't the types who'd get along this CLOSE to each other. And we're talking compressed stomachs here!

"Stop spying, Myrtle!" Draco demanded. Sometimes, this bitch could be so annoying.

"I was not!" Myrtle defended herself, pouting her lips. "It's not my fault I could hear weird sounds in **my territory**. At first, I thought I was hallucinating…you know, with the history of this bathroom and all. Then I remembered I couldn't be hallucinating because I'm not alive anymore. So I came here to investigate and see you," she pointed at Hermione, "and you," and at Draco, "All snuggly wuggly!" She giggled manically. "I never thought in my whole life, or death whatever, that I'd see soft porn in action! Go! Go! Go!"

"You're pathetic," Draco spat. He whispered to Hermione. "How do we send her out?"

"I'll think of something…" She whispered back.

"Hey, volume!" Moaning Myrtle moaned.

"Hey, Myrtle!" Hermione called, thinking of an excuse. "Crabbe and Goyle are having a snogfest right now somewhere near the Entrance!"

The ghost's eyes widened. "Faggots?"

Hermione let out a mischievous grin. "If you go now, you might still catch up with some major buttramming!"

Myrtle flew off, squealing in delight.

"Crabbe and Goyle are gay?" Malfoy said in God-knows-what-feeling.

"Don't you remember?" Hermione replied, astonished. It was one of the Golden Trio's biggest discoveries ever! "Remember when we sneaked to Hogsmeade, and passed some sleazy gay bar and saw those two enter it, in the nick of time?"

Malfoy's face was inexpressible. "Those bastards…" He muttered. Then, he turned to Alessandra. "So where were we?"

-.-.-.-.-

"Lost in each other's arms…" Hermione caught him by surprise, biting his neck with such fervor, it was inhuman. She had been keeping those feelings bottled for so long. Now, with the chance, why not give it all? This may be her last card at winning Harry's heart.

_Must've been too much…_ She thought abashedly, as she felt the warm trickle of his blood on her chin. She looked up at Harry and grinned sheepishly, her teeth with a tinge of red.

"My wild Alessandra…" Draco cried as his mouth once more reclaimed hers with a passion equaling that of his hate for Potter. He tasted her sweetness and the bitter delicious saltiness of his blood.

"Harry!" Hermione gasped in between breaths as she fought to keep up with his pace. Teenage passion was spilling over… A little more and they may not control themselves anymore. Lips locking, hands prowling, bodies tightening…

Draco paused, breathing heavily as he stared into her eyes. At that moment, no one else mattered but her. He had said he would never fall in love…but here he was!

"Do you want to?" Draco asked, full of meaning. In silent comprehension, Hermione nodded. He kissed her one more t –

"**HERMIONE GRANGER! DRACO MALFOY!"**

You can all eat crap, professors! Wait a minute.

Something's wrong with that. Rewind to the last part…

"**HERMIONE GRANGER! DRACO MALFOY!"**

-.-.-.-.-

Blue light flooded the room, breaking the spell. Both pushed themselves away from each other, staring in disbelief at whatever just happened. Whatever shouldn't have happened.

Draco stared at a ravished-looking Hermione, her chin trickling with his blood. HIS blood.

"You!" Hermione shouted at a seemingly frozen Malfoy. Without hesitation, she vomited into the bath.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: I am so morbid! I know and I love it! Nweiz, watcha think? Don't worry I won't be going overboard, past my rating. Wink Not to forget's my rating the most mature can handle lol

Just please review. No, I won't ask for reviews. If you want to, just review.

Please?


	4. Dumbledore's Punishment

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: hahahahha! I love tormenting my characters/borrowed characters… heehee thanks to the reviews…thanks thanks thanks thanks… Oh, by the way yes…I'm going to continue this fic…**do you think I shouldn't continue at all?** D: Please say so so I won't look like a friggin asshole. Hehe

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! Wink

EDIT: During the first time I thought of this fic, I had planned that it would end in the fourth chapter. But all those beautiful reviews were just asking for more. So this is the chapter where I strayed from my path and followed the devil writer's voice to complicate this whole story. :) I love complications. :)

**Chapter IV: Dumbledore's Punishment**

Hermione hated entering the Headmaster's office. Professor Dumbledore was not the nice uber-wise headmaster everyone thought he was. He was more like a serial killer diagnosed with MPD who would smell a flower and then cut it off from the stem. You know, _that_ sort…

She had been in here a dozen times before but not THIS way. She threw a dirty look at Malfoy. Actually, she hadn't stopped glaring at him since the bathroom incident, while he was making a big fuss about his skin crawling at their contact, and how revolting she was, puking at him like that.

"You still stink, you know," Draco whispered to her.

"You too," Hermione retorted. "Remember, we were together in the same bath."

"And this still hurts!" Draco pointed at his bleeding neck.

"You deserve it, and as far as I can remember, you asked for it," Hermione muttered.

Again Draco sighed loudly. "I shudder to think what could've happened if the teachers hadn't come and saved me from sheer horror…"

Hermione instantly grabbed Draco's mouth and warned, "One more time, Malfoy. You've **so** gone beyond the line. So shut your big fat mouth and for once, have mercy for yourself!"

"That's enough."

The headmaster had arrived with Snape and McGonagall just behind him. Hermione let go of Malfoy, who exhaled deeply. "You may sit down."

They sat down and heard only the soft coos of Fawks. Silence invaded the room as Albus Dumbledore paced back and forth. Then he faced them both and said, "Speak."

"I was just having a nice – w"

"Warm bath to clear some nightmares – p"

"When this THIS here – P"

" – stop interrupting me!"

"_Zipio!_" Dumbledore literally zipped their lips.

"You've just fallen victim to one of the numerous Illusion spells of the Hufflepuff bathroom," A very amused Albus Dumbledore explained to the two young Hogwarts students. "It's one of those high average kinds of spells which seem quite realistic but there would always be a hint of the real person's character showing through. Nothing serious really…but in this case, quite damaging…"

_Typical fast-paced Malfoy,_ Hermione thought.

_Blitzkrieg Mudblood style,_ Draco thought.

"But," the headmaster waved his hand, "that is not the point. The point is you've done some serious – how'd you call it now? – snogging…in semi-naked states, too!"

"MFpfrrfuhr!" Draco and Hermione's faces went wild with protest. No! Their eyes pleaded to Dumbledore to let them speak. Dumbledore waved the zippers away.

"But we were deceived!" Draco spoke out. "If we hadn't been under the spell, we wouldn't have done it in the first place!"

"I agree with the prat!" Hermione said. "If we had only known…"

"From the looks of it though," Snape interrupted, whipping Hermione's face to the side for a clear view of the kiss marks. "You certainly enjoyed it!"

"Both of you," McGonagall added, sensing Snape's biased comment. She looked sadly at Hermione. "I certainly didn't expect this of you… you of all people, Miss Granger!"

Hermione inhaled deeply, trying to maintain control. Why was she suddenly the bad girl here? "Pardon me, professors. But do I have to puke again to show my utter revulsion at the events? Why can't you understand?"

"I understand you both, Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy," Dumbledore said. "But as it is with the school's by-laws, we are forced to suspend both of you from Hogwarts…"

"On what grounds?" Draco questioned, horrified.

"With or without the knowledge of the Hufflepuff Bathroom Illusions," Dumbledore firmly explained. "You know very well how the Ministry has gone insane over the protection of Hogwarts students in these _dark_ times. They've gone to the extent of suspension and possible investigation for students sneaking out at night doing inappropriate things."

This time, Draco and Hermione paled.

"Not to worry," Dumbledore quickly assured them. "I am altering the rules since this is not a usual case for you two."

"Thank you, headmaster…" Hermione sighed in relief. Draco didn't say anything but it was clear he was thankful, too.

Dumbledore continued nonchalantly. "Both of you will have to be married…"

"WHAT?" Draco, Hermione, Snape and McGonagall gaped at him.

"…the day after the dance…" He raged on.

"You can't do this to us!"

"I'll tell my father! And he'll close this damn school!"

"…making that… Christmas Day! Perfect!" He finished, looking proud of himself. He turned to the teachers. "What do you think? Is there a better day or what?" He laughed like a demented version of Father Christmas before facing Draco and Hermione. "I will contact your parents as soon as possible with regards to the preparations. All you have to do is choose the best man and the maid of honor. Thank you. You may go now."

The teachers hesitantly pushed them out of the room. "Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy…" The headmaster said before the doors closed.

"Shitface…" Malfoy muttered.

"I heard that."

-.-.-.-.-

"I've never had more fun since the last 200 years!" Albus Dumbledore chortled, as Severus and Minerva looked on. Not happy, of course.

"You are not really going to do that, right?" Minerva asked, hopefully. Sometimes, Albus could be so tactless!

"But of course!" Dumbledore replied happily.

"And how will you explain yourself to the parents?" Severus burst his bubble.

"There will be no need for parents," Albus explained. "Do you want to put Hogwarts in jeopardy? I have all that in plan." He smiled again.

"This will cause trouble, Albus…" Minerva warned. "Somehow, their families would find out and you'd have to answer then."

"Then answer them I will!" Albus said. "Tell them the two were all over each other…and we had to take disciplinary action. The marriage isn't real, duh?"

"Whatever you say…" Snape muttered. McGonagall sighed.

Albus raised an eyebrow at them. "What were you two doing in the Hufflepuff washroom anyway?"

--

"I've always hated you, Malfoy!" Hermione spat, as the two of them walked back to their rooms. "But I've never hated you this much, I want to slit off your throat!"

"Tell me something I don't know," Malfoy replied, equally disturbed. He would have to spend his whole life with a Mudblood yakkity-yakking on him like this?

"This is all your fault, barging into the bathroom and all, not even checking the towel on the ledge!" She blamed him; toying with the robe McGonagall covered her with, right after she hurled her dinner into the water.

"My fault?" He turned to her. "How was I to know you had some sick fondness of staying under hot water?"

"Still, it's your fault!" She argued. "It's always your fault! If you had just been a friend to us in the first year, there would have been no misunderstandings!"

"HA! Now I get it! This isn't just about the bathroom incident, is it? You – l"

_SHH! _The paintings scolded them. It was about three in the morning and here were two students bickering like an old married couple. Oh, the irony.

"I've never liked the kinds of you!" Malfoy hissed, continuing their wordplay. So fuck the stupid portraits!

Hermione remained silent, pouting her lips as she stomped towards her room. She was thinking of how her life would be after ten years. Would she forever be in heated arguments with Malfoy? Would she have to face the world of snobby Purebloods and all that crap? How would her family react? What would Harry and Ron say? Would the marriage actually push through? Why is she beginning to sound like an onscreen voice-over?!

She stopped. She had reached the still sleeping Fat Lady, but Malfoy kept on. "Malfoy…" She called to him, watching his tracks slow down.

"I will not marry you. I'm just going to undergo some ceremony and live with you…but with an attitude like that and a name called Malfoy, don't expect me to love you. Ever." She faced the Fat Lady, whispered the password and got inside.

_Same here… _Draco moved on.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: LMFAO _Zipio_! Yes, me and my sad humor. Well, you can't can't add a little conflict in the mix! Everyone knows it's part of all Dramione fics for Draco and Hermione to profess their undying hate for each other in exaggerated manners until lust overtakes them before they fall in love. In Dramione fics, pr0n first before love. Not like I'm shaping my story this way… C'mon, you little fangirls, you all know that. ;)

So if you think Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy sounds good, review! Review! Review!


	5. Keeping Secrets

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: Hmm… sankyuu for all the lovely reviews… hekhek! You don't know how much you make me sooooo happy! I won't tell you what's in this chapter to keep the suspense and all…hekhek ;p

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! Wink (There I go again. --)

**Chapter V: Keeping Secrets: Draco and Hermione?**

Parvati wasn't really a fan of Hermione Granger. Oh, she knew the girl was the smartest student in Hogwarts as of the moment. And her looks? Not bad. She was the kind of girl easy to get along with. No problem trying to connect with her; she would always find the connection.

Parvati also knew about Hermione's recent argument with Harry and Ron. The reason why the frizzy haired girl had been eating with the other girls these past few days. Usually, as everybody knows, she's either tagging along with the two boys or those two are stuck to her. Maybe that was why the girl was acting strange.

She continued pondering on Hermione sitting just across her, taking bite after bite of the ham. _But there really is something different about her today._ She peered closely at the other girl…and BAM! She saw it!

Parvati choked on her breakfast as she recognized what she just saw. The others gathered around her to help. "Parvati! Are you okay?" Someone patted her back while another handed her a glass of water. Hurriedly, she emptied the glass, gasped and stared at Hermione.

"**Hermione's got a hickey!"** Parvati exclaimed. "Lots of 'em!"

Hermione froze as all eyes fell on her. _Damn! They showed? _How could she forget to charm them away! She decided ignorance would be a better approach. "What?" She touched her neck. "What hickeys?"

A fifth-year looked at her neck. "Yup! Hickeys, all right!"

"C- couldn't be…" Hermione stammered. _Why can't they just leave it alone?_ "It must be Russian snow butterfly bites…"

"Nuh –uh…" Another replied. "Russian snow butterflies give an orange shade on the skin they sting, you know."

_Of course, I know… _Hermione grumbled. _Who knew you knew?_

Now everyone was asking her questions. _Who gave them to you? How did it feel like? Did it bleed, did it hurt? Can I touch it? Are you a masochist? _They had circled around her, studying her like some specimen. _It looks yucky! It doesn't look like a hickey! But it is! Of course, it is! Have you never had one before?_

Hermione kept fumbling around, giving vague answers. "I don't know… I don't care… it's NOT a –" A hand yanked her away from the group. She was almost about to protest but fell silent at Malfoy's icy cold stare.

The Gryffindor table was quiet as he escorted her out of the Great Hall.

"Did you see that?" A girl squealed after the doors were shut. "Draco Malfoy has a huge deep kiss mark on his neck!". Peals of girlish laughter.

_What just happened?_ Harry wondered, still not believing. He had totally forgotten his breakfast when Malfoy and Hermione exited. Together.

He glanced at Ron whose jaw still dropped. Since the Howler incident, they had given each other the cold treatment. But it looked as though both agreed on this whole Draco–Hermione thing. Unthinkable.

Yuck.

-.-.-.-.-

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SHOWING OFF THOSE DISGUSTING MARKS!"

Draco Malfoy was all ice while he led Hermione to some dark corridor. When they reached a spot far enough, he began scolding her.

"I was NOT showing off!" Hermione said, defensively, covering the remnants of last night. "Parvati saw it and squealed. It's not like I wanted the whole world to know you bloody touched me!"

"What the - ! You could have used some spell to erase the marks but no! Little Miss Perfect wanted to brag to everyone that she and High and Mighty Draco were having fun last night! Merlin, you want me buried neck-deep in this hellhole, don't you?" Malfoy said in spite.

"You didn't have to ask! Oh how I'd love to see you choke in that so-called hellhole of yours. But sadly the circumstances aren't how I want them to be… I want you to know that I do not want to be trapped anywhere with you!" Hermione shot back. "And I don't want anyone to know I was "having fun"… if you call that FUN! With you around, my life is completely devoid of fun! And what about you? You didn't magically whisk away **your** scar! You want me to do the honor? For the hundredth time, Malfoy, I hate you and these stupid marks, which, may I inform you, I don't want to waste any of my time on!"

"Well, I hate you, too! I hate how they stare at me… at us… as if we were secretly in love or something!" Draco shouted. "You've cornered me now, you _cunt_!"

Hermione knew Malfoy's foul mouth like the back of her hand but _that_ had gone beyond the line. She raised her hand to slap him but Malfoy caught it just in time. She was flustered by the gentleness of his grip, and loosened her arm quickly.

Draco sneered at her sudden reaction. All it took for her to lose words was the right touch. Like a helpless wet chick. Weak.

Hermione rushed back to the Great Hall, furiously blushing at his twisted smile. Somehow, she felt as if she left Malfoy with the exact same feeling a girl gets after being shagged bloody well. Merlin, all that wordplay feeling like deep French kissing! Fucking pervert!

-.-.-.-.-

Hermione wasn't sure if she still really hated Malfoy. After that sudden show of whatever, she just wasn't very certain about things. Maybe he could _change…_ Merlin! What was she thinking? Malfoy could never change… could he?

Right, Hermione…

_Right? He could! Well… I guess he could. He doesn't look so bad anyway. They don't call him the Prince for nothing. I mean, over the years, he has improved…physically, that is. Although I do remember him thinning sometime in the fourth year…_

_I wonder… who was I in his illusion? Malfoy? In love!_

Yes, Miss Granger…

_Fine! Of course he is entitled to love. He is human, after all. I just want to know who tamed that – _

"MISS HERMIONE GRANGER!" Professor Flitwick snapped her back to reality. "As I was saying…"

Hermione turned pink at her actions. What was happening to her? Here she was neglecting her studies to daydream of… of Malfoy! Fuck!

-.-.-.-.-

Zabini passed Malfoy a note during Potions, just as Snape turned his back to the class.

_What is it between you and the Mudblood?_

Malfoy read it once, twice and looked intently at Zabini while crumpling his goddamn note. He went to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-

"Harry, we've got to help Hermione!" A very concerned Ron Weasley confronted Harry. It was Divinity and Ron had taken it to himself to go to Harry and together, save Hermione from the clutches of evil.

Harry looked at him. Somehow, he had anticipated this but Ron was missing something. And Ron knew it. He just couldn't say it.

"Okay! Okay!" Ron said, giving up, making it seem like such a big deal. "I'm sorry, Harry." He smiled. "Friends?"

"All along…" Harry replied, throwing him a smile. "Now let's go bring back Hermione!"

"Harry Potter!" Professor Trelawney quacked. "For NOT the last time, I predict your untimely death due to overjoy!" Harry and Ron faced each other and rolled their eyes. Whatever!

-.-.-.-.-

There she was, sitting by herself on a bench near a snow – covered tree, reading another book, as she usually does. Geeky but the only friend you can turn to when your hair suddenly burst into flames or when you find yourself trapped in a big slop of gunk…

"Hermione…" Harry started, not quite sure how to start. He and Ron had practiced this line several times and now he got it all fuzzy at the beginning. He looked at Hermione. She was still staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

Harry opened his mouth. Then, shut it again. _Ron, help me out here!_ He wished he had telepathy. He didn't bother to turn to Ron. The other would probably hack him to death because of his tied tongue.

"Hermione," Harry started over. "Ron and I came to say sorry..."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. _Ron and I?_

"We know we've been so cold and all lately," he stammered. "But we really didn't mean it… Just the normal best friends misunderstanding… Right, Ron?" Silence. He nudged the air. "Right, R - ?" He turned around and found himself all alone. "Ron!" _Where's Ron? That bloke probably got scared out of his wits! Well, I'll be damned!_ He spotted Ronald Weasley easily. Red hair doesn't grow on trees, right?

"Ron! Ron! Come here!" Harry called to him, who had no choice, but to reveal himself and face Hermione. When Ron was near enough, he said, "This was all your idea, remember?" The other boy colored in the deepest shade of red.

"Hey, Hermione…" Ron said. No, whispered. No, wheezed.

"What?" Hermione replied, slightly amused.

"What?" Ron echoed.

"What?"

"You said 'what' first!"

Hermione sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, 'Mione!" Ron exclaimed, bursting with emotion. "Now you're alone and bored and… and… you had no choice but to surrender to the devil himself! Can you ever forgive us?"

"Please?" Harry added.

To their surprise, Hermione just laughed. "Is this what it's all about? You fear for my safety from that prat?" Both boys nodded. She laughed louder. "That oversized dick tame me? ME, of all people? Well, you're about to prove yourselves wrong. Nobody tames me!"

Confusion was written on both faces. Hermione tried to explain. "It's like this – gbsbghbgfhbgdfhbgjbgfdfhbgdfjbgjb!"_ What the - ? I'm speaking Gibberish!_

"Okay…" Ron's voice trailed off. "I think I get it… So you were partners in Potions the other day and the potion sort of exploded and resulted to the kiss marks?"

"Yeah something like that…" Hermione had to agree. Maybe Dumbledore cast a spell so we couldn't blab about the soap suds incident…

"So…" Harry cut off any talk or implications of Malfoy. "Wanna go to Hogsmeade tonight?" He grinned. "You know… to celebrate the holidays!"

His grin was too cute. Hermione couldn't help but say yes.

-.-.-.-.-

"A toast to us!" Ron exclaimed, raising his butterbeer.

"Cheers!" Harry and Hermione replied, raising their mugs, too. The sound of clinking glass confirmed their strong friendship.

"Wow…" Hermione said in amazement. "Years of friendship over butterbeer and fighting off crappy characters without any help from the teachers. Just our own magick!"

"Yeah…" Harry agreed.

"Uh – oh!" Ron's eyes widened. "Speaking of OWN MAGICK, I forgot my Potions homework!"

"Homework?" Hermione asked in disbelief. "We don't have classes anymore!"

"Yeah, unbelievable, isn't it?" Ron grinned for a while. "But that homework was boiling an hour ago… AND STILL IS! Tata!" He ran immediately to the secret panel.

"And he left his butterbeer!" Hermione clucked her tongue, and then drank all of Ron's drink in one gulp. "Nothing wasted!"

Harry laughed as he wiped the butterbeer moustache off Hermione's face. Jokingly, Hermione pretended to bite off his fingers.

"Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!" Harry pretended to scold her. "Not the way a woman should act! Women should be prim and proper, and according to Ron, 'wet little helpless things'."

"Naughty Harry!" Hermione commented. Oh, how she wished this time would never end! Moments alone with Harry are so rare. Either Ron or quidditch would get in the way. _Oh, Harry… still. If you feel the same way and tell me, I'd probably be in Malfoy Manor already…_

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked, putting a hand over hers. It was only then that she realized she was ogling at him like some lost lovesick puppy.

"Sneaking around during midnight, are you, Potter?" A voice said. Unmistakably Draco Malfoy.

Malfoy stared hard at Potter, and then at the Mudblood and snorted at the sight of their entangled hands. "Looks like you had too much butterbeer…" He laughed. Crabbe and Goyle laughed along with him.

"Not as mush as you've obviously had," Hermione retorted. It was so irritating… Malfoy seemed to be everywhere!

Draco was annoyed. He threw a few gold coins at his two sidekicks and ordered them to go do their thing while he played around with the two lovebirds.

"We better leave, Hermione," Harry stood up, sensing trouble. Malfoy was a little drunk, and it didn't help that they had all sneaked out from school.

But Hermione held on to Harry's hand and said, "No… why don't we invite him?" She sneered at Malfoy and patted the seat next to her. **"In fact, why don't you sit here next to me?"**

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: hahaha! So much for making them fall in love! I love complications! Wait, didn't I say that already? Haha So what can you say? Worth a review? Review review review review…


	6. Intoxicated

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: OMG! I'm like, hungry for reviews! Hahaha nweiz…abt that "magick" thing… there is such a word but I won't use that anymore…so as to avoid any other errors…weehhheee

How come other authors get so many reviews and they like have just one or two or three chapters? Hmmm… I must change my style or something…eh, whtachuthink? Whatever..haha suggestions, comments totally accepted! ;p

I love y'all! I love y'all so much! ;p (EDIT: LOL Ew, I was totally thinking Elvis accent on this one!)

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! wink

**Chapter VI: Intoxicated**

"In fact, why don't you sit here next to me?"

Draco was struck. Again, the bitch never failed to surprise him. But he would play along.

"You don't have to tell me," Malfoy said, seating himself quite comfortably much to Harry's dismay. "Mudbloods can't order me around." He smirked at Harry who was still standing. "Why don't you sit down, Potter?"

Without further ado, Harry sat down, confused and troubled. He didn't fail to see the glint in the girl's eye. What did Hermione have in mind?

"Make sure you're a meter away from me, Malfoy…" Hermione added. "We don't want Mudbloods mixing with Purebloods."

Malfoy's face crumpled. She was playing his game! "Well, in that case," he moved closer to Hermione. Too close their cheeks were touching and she could barely move. "How's that for close?"

"Merlin, you stink!" Hermione exclaimed in disgust. She pushed Malfoy away with one hand. In her other hand, she felt Harry stiffen with rage.

"I do not, you liar!" Malfoy replied, smelling himself.

"Of course you do!" Hermione retorted.

"You don't know the scent of the wealthy, bitch!"

"You just can't smell straight, dimwit! Your nose is as useless as the dangling thing between your legs!"

Harry knew now. That glint in Hermione's eyes wasn't mischief. It was the drink. You could topple Hermione down even with ginger ale. Now they're both drunk.

"Slut!"

"Bastard!"

"Cocksucking cocktease!"

"Dickless dickhead!"

"Weed hair!"

"Rotten banana hair!"

Malfoy hissed. "Damn your cunt!"

"Oh can it, you idiot!" Hermione said, gulping down more butterbeer. "I'm running out of names to call you."

Malfoy whispered something to Hermione. _We have to keep a low profile. Nobody has to know about our punishment until Dumbledore himself announces it. For the meantime, __**stop seducing me!**__ Save it for the honeymoon!_

"I am not!" Hermione objected loudly. "Excuuse me!" She took a glance at a startled Harry who didn't understand this "friendly" exchange of whispers. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. He weakly smiled back.

Harry watched in horror and greener with envy when, this time, Hermione whispered something to Malfoy. _I don't understand at all!_ He was actually hurt more at the sight of Malfoy's neck, with that violetish vampire bite staring at him, taunting him with impossibly vile thoughts. Unlike Hermione who had so carefully wrapped a scarf around hers, Malfoy's neck was all exposed for the world to see. And Harry didn't like it one bit.

"_Let's call it a truce, git! Don't say a word until Albus does. No implications about the whole thing. Yadayadayada. Now leave, will you? Before Harry slits off your throat!" w_hispered Hermione.

Malfoy took a glimpse of Potter. True enough, he looked delirious with jealousy. His only consolation seemed to be the fact that, all throughout, Hermione never let go of his hand.

"Fine! I'm going now!" Draco announced but leaned towards Hermione, puckered up for a kiss, hoping to make Potter go mad. Oh yes, the freedom of drunks!

In comprehension, Hermione quickly shoved the mug of butterbeer in his mouth. "Goodbye!"

"Goddamnit, Mudblood!" Draco screeched, hands quickly comforting his face. "My gums are bleeding!"

"No, they're not!" Hermione replied tartly and hiccupped. "Now go away!"

"Tscha! Three days, Mudblood…" Draco said and turned to Potter. "You've been a great by-stander, Potter! Keep it up! That's all you're good at anyway." Then, he walked away, cackling at his own joke.

Harry opened his mouth in protest. But nothing would come out. _He destroyed our night! He insulted Hermione, tearing at her savagely! He almost kissed her, even! Yet here I was…and I never did anything about it. Not even a single thing!_ For the second time that night, Hermione squeezed his hand.

-.-.-.-.-

"Where will I put these, Madam Pince?" Hermione asked, a handful of books in her arms. She had decided to return her books the next day and see for herself what other nice stuff are available (being the bookworm that she is).

"What a dear!" Madam Pince commented. Then, pointing east, she said, "Just place them on those tables there, Hermione…"

"Okay," Hermione replied. "Thanks, Madam." Slowly, she headed to the tables, stopping now and then to scan some books which interested her. But deep inside, she was really thinking about what happened last night. _Malfoy had been calm. Playful, actually. But not downright mean, as he usually is. Of course, he was drunk so maybe that's why he was acting like that… On the other side, Harry was painfully silent! Either that or he just couldn't say anything out of sheer confusion… I mean, I know I was being bitchy, inviting him to our table and all. Hell, I was drunk! They were sworn enemies, for Merlin's sake! But for my sake, Harry would sit at the same table Malfoy is sitting in. For my sake…_

"_**Hermione, you shouldn't have drunk Ron's butterbeer when you knew he had mixed some vodka in it!" Harry said over and over as he comforted a puking, hiccupping, chortling Hermione. "If I had known, I wouldn't have let you finish it off!"**_

"_**I'm sorry, HaaAAaaAAaAaaA!" Another puking interrupted her apology. Hermione felt as if her insides went down the drain with all that liquid. She chuckled at herself and then at Harry who was already splattered with her barf.**_

_**Harry groaned, wiping Hermione's face with a hot towel, not minding how he looked or even smelled like. The sounds she was making were not attractive and anybody who was normal would've done anything to stay away from Hermione's way. But Harry wasn't normal. He was always abnormal with Hermione.**_

_**He wasn't sorry for stinking and looking like hell. If it was the way to make that girl sober. He smiled inwardly as he quoted a Muggle book, "Love is never having to say you're sorry…"**_

_**Suddenly, Hermione stopped laughing. For an instant, she seemed normal again. She had heard Harry whisper a line from one of her favorite books and it moved her that the book-hating Harry Potter remembered a sappy line from – of all things! – a romance novel.**_

_**Then, she was leaking, wailing as she grabbed the towel from Harry and started cleaning his face. She knew her condition was oh – so – terrible. She could only imagine how Harry put up with her. She was always weak with alcohol, and she knew it. And she always ALWAYS tried to fight it… but failed.**_

"_**Harry, I'm sorry – I'm sorry," She stammered. "I'm so embarrassed! I – I know I shouldn't h – have (hiccup) drunk…but you know how badly I want to be normal… I… I…"**_

_**Then Harry slapped her hard across her face. So hard. "The more you fight back to escape from it, the more you are lost in it and can never find your way out." He took the cloth from her hands and wiped her face one more time…**_

_Yet, Malfoy did just the same thing! And why did he sit next to us? What were his reasons? To infuriate Harry? To freakin' __**remind**__ me only three days were left before the fateful day! Make that two! Aargh! Why am I even thinking of him? Thoughts of him are so annoying!_

"Watch out for that book on the floor."

"Wha – aaaooow!" Hermione tripped on the book and fell SMACK on the floor. Down went her books.

"Told you so…"

Hermione glared at the floor. She didn't have to look up to see it was him. Again. She was seeing him more and more each day. Coincidence? She hopes so!

"You could have done it the easier way, Mudblood," Malfoy said, taking out his wand. With a flick, he sent the books flying to their respective locations. "Done!"

Hermione groaned. She's had enough of that machismo issue… "Doing it by hand's more fulfilling…"

Out of the blue, Malfoy extended his hand towards her. She stared at it in bewilderment. "Are you dumb?" With a sigh, he grabbed Hermione by the waist and pulled her up.

"I can get up, brat!" She said, pushing him away. But Draco held her hand and brought it closer to his face. Hermione could feel the goosebumps forming on her skin. _What in bloody hell is he doing?_

Ever so slowly, Draco savored the scent of her hand, felt the soft skin Potter would never let go of last night. He wanted so badly to taste the strawberry flesh! What the - ! What was he thinking! No…that wouldn't do. He breathed hard and let go. "You smell like dragonpoop."

"Not now, Malfoy," Hermione said. "I'm not in the mood to be in a bad mood."

"Didn't ask you to."

"You surely are in a better mood today," Hermione said, bringing up last night's events. "I like this Malfoy better than the drunken one…"

"I didn't ask for your opinion, bitch."

"There you go again…"

"Looks like you _are_ running out of curses, Granger," said Draco. "I'm quite disappointed."

"Stop it, Malfoy," Hermione shot back. "I'm not like you. I thought we agreed to keep low. Talking to each other is not helping in keeping our profiles low, okay? We should be normal…like before. NOT talking to each other."

"Whatever, mudblood…" Draco scowled.

"There… Hey!" Hermione noticed something about him. Weird. She cupped his face and looked at him. "Your other pupil's yellow." _And you look like a retard._ Draco realized he wasn't breathing while Hermione's fingers touched his skin. It burned him to the very core, and it took quite a while before he could recover.

"Oh that?" Draco took out a box and slid a lens on the other side. Now his eyes were like sunshine. "Must've lost the other one."

Hermione looked closer. "You wear contacts!"

Draco nodded, seating himself in a quiet corner. "Only when I'm reading." It was only that time Hermione saw the book cradled in his arms. He didn't look like Draco Malfoy at all. He didn't act like Malfoy. He mustn't be Malfoy.

"Hi, I'm Hermione. What's your name?" Hermione asked jokingly, sitting beside him. (A/n: I have no idea why she was "jokingly sitting beside him".)

"You're insane, Mudblood," Draco replied, opening the book.

Hermione stole a glance at the title. **Most Notorious Criminal Students in the History of Hogwarts.** Uh… "I didn't know you read…"

"I do, from time to time," He said, aware she was studying him intently. This was a side of him she didn't know about, and he knew it intrigued her.

Hermione sat, openly admiring this Malfoy. It was the Malfoy he deprived everyone of. Okay, his choice of genre may not be, let's say, advisable…but it could work out. If this was how Draco was like, she'd probably fall in love with him… Hermione gagged. Revolting! Revolting! What a revolting thought! Then, she laughed to herself. This whole situation was absolutely weird!

Draco was disturbed by her chortle. Not that he hadn't been "disturbed" since she looked into his eyes and asked about his contacts. But he didn't like to be disturbed by _Hermione Granger_. He looked at her questioningly.

"Oh nothing…" She answered as if she knew what he was thinking, and propped her elbow on the table and rested her head on it. She realized she had grown tired of fighting with Malfoy. Or was she too depressed and guilty because of Harry?

Lost in her thoughts, Hermione hadn't noticed Malfoy tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. This time, he was smiling.

"What the fuck?" She asked, startled. _What did Malfoy just do? What in Merlin's name was that supposed to mean?_

Draco closed his book and rested his chin on his hand. "I just realized that if you keep this up, I'm going to have to settle for less…"

It took a moment for Hermione's wonder brain to register the meaning of what he said, and when it did, she stood up, red-faced, and stomped out of the library, leaving a quite amused Draco to himself.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Now how about that? Hermione's an alcoholic! Lol I am so evil! Bwahahah I don't know why they suddenly became like close or something…wahahah I must be psycho…wheeee I know there are so many corny scenes here…but I like it! Wahahahahhahahah so again I'm asking you for a – mff! Umppfuhmmmpff! Wait! I wanna ask for a re – mppf pfppumpff!

see **Chapter 2 More Than Words aka When Hitting Malfoy Becomes A Hobby** to understand. Or if you really don't, it's when Draco said to Hermione that he wouldn't settle for less (meaning, Hermione).


	7. No Secret Can Never Be Revealed

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: Yeyyyyyy…hmm/…..fast update right? Haha what can I do? I just got the idea and then pop! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee…it's chap 7 already! Ahhahahahhahahahha hmm… Let's see…thanks to all those who reviewed me and I think I finally got over the "not-so-many-reviews-but-so-many-freakin-hits" phase I went through… (?) LMFAO…fart…just read on… ;p and hope u likee…. And give me more reviews coz I'm like BLEEDING here. Haha

EDIT: Oh my god. The amounts of wheeees and hahahas in that A/N is killing me!

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! wink

**Chapter VII: No Secret Can Never Be Revealed**

It was a beautiful day for Hermione Granger. Everything seemed to radiate and glow like lightsabers. She had awakened feeling fresh and filled – a feeling she had not felt for some time. She wore her ordinary Muggle clothes as if Cleopatra herself had stepped into them. She took her breakfast as if she had never eaten these foods before in her whole life. She even greeted Peeves and a couple of Slytherins as if they were long lost friends.

Basically, everyone thought Hermione was going mental today. They thought maybe Malfoy had brainwashed her with his hickeys and all that crap. The gossip about their grand exit the other day was still as hot as fried eggs but no one really knew. Both Draco and Hermione dismissed questions before they were even asked. Everyone, except Harry and Ron, didn't believe the "Potions assignment" explanation one bit.

_But she was happy! Completely out of her mind! _Her parents had sent her an owl, informing her that they would be expecting her on the holidays, and how awfully great it would be to have her back home. Kisses kisses and kisses from mum and dad. A short escape from this madness that she had been waiting for, like, ages, and so you can't possibly blame her for the reaction. I mean, after all the bad news she had been receiving…whew. So no one could stop her from acting this way. And she didn't care yet if her parents will know or not. Fine, she'd be married by then. Malfoy couldn't possibly stop her from seeing her family. Let him try and she'll cut off his head. She just didn't care anymore.

In her excitement, Hermione hadn't seen what the other girls in Hogwarts were so busy preparing for. She went up to Ginny and asked the girl. "Laces, ribbons, glitter… Whatever are you preparing for, Ginny?"

"A tiara for my gown…"

"What gown?"

"Merlin, Hermione!" Ginny gasped, pausing in her work. "Don't you remember? Tomorrow night's the winter dance!"

Hermione's happy demeanor faded. _Tomorrow night?_

"You've been too absorbed in your love life to remember even the important things in your once-in-a-lifetime Hogwarts student life!" Ginny said, stressing LOVE LIFE. Ron's little sister thought boys were taboo for Hermione. They made her as dumb as Crabbe and Goyle.

To her astonishment, Hermione knelt and cried to her. "Oh, Ginny! You've got to help me! I don't know what to wear! And it's too late to send an owl to Mum and Dad."

"Calm down, will you?" Ginny said, a little annoyed. "Dress up and we'll go to Hogsmeade."

-.-.-.-.-

Madam Clara studied Hermione, looking at her from head to toe. This was an unusual girl. She was reserved but her appearance screamed wild. She was polite but sarcastic. She seemed innocent but she was the huntress. This was going to be very tricky.

"So what do you think?" Ginny asked.

"Okee. I'll meek a dress for ya," Madam Clara decided.

Hermione sighed, smiling.

"Foh free," the seamstress added.

"Are you serious! Why?"

"Vhy ever not? Just sit here and vait." Madam Clara exited the room and entered her office.

Hermione was giddy with excitement. "I can't believe it! I **so** cannot believe it!"

-.-.-.-.-

_Minutes later…_

"I can't believe it!" Hermione screamed. "I can't believe you want me to wear a dress like this! IF YOU STILL CALL THIS A DRESS!"

"Shush, 'Mione!" Ginny scolded her. "You look pretty good… Just change your attitude and everything would be perfect."

"You don't understand!" Hermione wailed. "Everyone will laugh at me!"

"Tut! Tut! You're insultin' me, mi dear," Madam Clara said softly.

Hermione immediately regretted her sudden reaction. "I'm sorry, Madam Clara. I didn't mean to insult you or something. The dress looks fabulous… but not on me."

"If ya don't vant it…" Madam Clara's voice trailed off.

"No no no!" Ginny interrupted, firmly shaking the older woman's hands. "We love it! Thank you so much!"

Madam Clara's smile was back. "Vonderful!" She flicked her wand and Hermione was wearing her clothes again; the dress comfortably placed in a bag.

Hermione could only smile in surrender.

-.-.-.-.-

"Well… I guess I'd have to thank you, huh, Ginny?" Hermione had no other choice but to use the dress. Merlin, just this once! And then, maybe she'll give it to some Salvation Army or something…

"I guess I'd have to?" Ginny replied sarcastically. "Of course, you've got to thank me! Or else you wouldn't have anything to wear at all!"

Hermione sighed. "I know." Then, she looked at Ginny and smiled. "Thanks! I knew I could count on you. Although I know I've been a real pain in the behind."

"Oh don't you know it!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ron grabbed Hermione by the arm and said, "Hermione, we've got to talk."

"Oh, hi, Ron!" Hermione greeted him, a bit confused. What could this possibly be about?

"C'mon!" Ron said, hurriedly leading her out of the common room.

"Hi, Ron!" Ginny shouted at him "Go ahead and forget you have a sister!"

"Hi, Ginny." Ron didn't look back.

"Brothers…" Ginny grumbled.

-.-.-.-.-

Ron didn't want to believe it. The source itself wasn't very credible. But the different situations make the rumor seem true.

He barked out. "I don't know how to say this, Hermione. It's kinda awkward to be in between your two best friends…"

Hermione silenced him with a finger. "I think I get it…" She paused, pondering if her inference was right. "You're in love with me, too, aren't you?"

Ron looked at her and snorted. "Woman! You're imagination is going overboard! You? Ha!" _How could she, for a moment, think that… Hermione? Me? Ha!_

Hermione blushed madly. Okay, so her guess wasn't right. Did he have to rub it in her face? "Fine, what's this all about?"

Ron wasn't laughing anymore. It was business. "What do you think you're doing snaking your body with that Malfoy prat?"

Hermione felt her insides being flushed out of her body. How did Ron know? Did Malfoy tell? Oh Merlin, I'm going to wring his bloody head off!

"That Potions thing wasn't true, was it?" Ron said, a hint of sadness in his tone. "You know, Hermione… I don't know what's up with you and that Slytherin git but I do hope you're thinking of Harry's feelings, too…"

"Who told you?"

"Moaning Myrtle."

"I see." So the fucking ghost blabbed it around school. "And you believe her?"

Ron didn't know what to say.

"It isn't what you think it is, Ron." Hermione sighed. How could she avoid hurting people if she couldn't even tell the truth? She stared at him. "Are you gonna tell Harry?"

"What!" Ron exclaimed. "And have him die of a friggin' shattered heart? I don't want to be the one who'd kill him." He looked at Hermione's hardened expression. "Okay okay! I didn't say you were a murderer or something. I'm your friend too. But this is a lose-lose situation for both of you."

"So?"

"So you tell him!"

Hermione pouted her lips. "That's not easy."

Ron laughed. "Now the Oh-Great-Brain finally found something too difficult for her…"

"Oh shut up, Ron!" Hermione snapped.

"Whatever…" He replied. "But you have to clean this mess."

She turned to him, seemingly exhumed. "Just promise me you won't tell Harry. I'll find a way." _If I can…_

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Short and sweet, just the way my mama likes it. LOL Some things just got to be kept simple. Like Chapter 7 of Slippery Soap Suds. :) Review, anyone?


	8. Pretending to be Cinderella

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: To all those who were wondering what Hermione's dress looks like, I purposely did NOT describe it down in chap 7 so it would be a bit thrill thrill! LOL and in this chappie, I'm giving you just a teensy sneak peek...damn I'm sooo not good in fashion stuff but if you do have any suggestions for Hermione's dress, I'm definitely going to **think** about it. To Jennifer-marie, I hope u cud still read this. Sorry if it didn't reach before Friday. Oh well..teehee…

**To everyone else: Can't wait for the ball too!hahha**

I love y'all! I love y'all so much! ;p Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! Wink (EDIT: OMG I'm so fucking cheesy lol)

**Chapter VIII: Pretending to be Cinderella**

_Trembling moments pass us by_

_Shivering glances shoot straight through the water_

_Then_

_The still silent whisper of the setting sun_

_As embraces get warmer by the hour_

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. She has always been a poetry buff. There is just something about putting random words together and letting them actually mean something that awes her. How could some people convey such great emotions with such a few words? _Tschokoksky…you never fail to enchant me…_

"Aren't you preparing for the winter dance?" A voice startled her.

"I – uh," Hermione's expression changed from surprise to bitterness as Draco sat on the library floor beside her. So freakingly close. "Oh, it's you." _What is this prat doing here?_

"Yeah, yeah…" Draco pressed on.

"You seem to be making this a habit…this, this popping everywhere when I'm alone." Hermione ranted, flipping through the pages of her book without even reading a thing. "You're annoying me, you know."

Malfoy ignored that last remark. "So why aren't you excited when every other girl is?"

Hermione faced him. "Tell me. Are **you** excited? Knowing that this is the last day of your single life? Knowing that this will be the last day before you marry someone you can't stand? Knowing that you will be living a life of hell with the devil? Are you happy!"

Draco made a face. "Oh, you're overreacting…"

"Overreacting!"

"Look, we didn't choose for this to happen!" Draco said, trying to let her see his point. Mudbloods are so hard to get along with. "Let's just think of this as some game of pretend or something…"

"Right…" Hermione snorted. "And what do you think of me? A friggin' retard?"

"Close…"

"Aargh!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "I just can't understand you!"

"Same here!" Draco retorted. "What are you so afraid of? It's not like we're being forced to…LOVE each other…" He paused. "Now **that** would be horror!"

"YOU don't understand…" Hermione insisted. "…because you don't have somebody…oh forget it…"

Draco looked at her. "Lemme guess…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't play games with me…"

Draco forced her to face him. "Mudblood, you've got to learn to get along with me if you plan to hold the Malfoy name."

"I never planned to…" She released herself from his grasp.

"We've been forced to… Here!" He threw a small flask at Hermione.

"What's this?"

"Madam Pomfrey's vanishing cream…for you-know-what." With that, he stood and started to walk away. "See you at the ball…"

"What makes you think I'd be going?"

"Potter." He faced her. "Who else?" She thought for a moment she'd seen a glint of sadness in his eyes…but dismissed the thought as fast as it had come. She knew he was right. Again.

-.-.-.-.-

"Where's my lip gloss?"

"Merlin, my hose is missing!"

"Somebody bring me a bloody ice bag! I'm bleeding!"

The girls' quarters were in utter chaos. Make-up, underwear and blood were everywhere. It was a sadist's dream come true.

The night finally came. The winter dance. Time check – 5: 00 PM. Two more hours and it would officially start.

Hermione tried to push the thought of the next day away. Tonight would be the night of all her single nights. She would enjoy tonight, if it were the last thing she'd have to force out of herself. She began breathing deeply. _Calm down, Hermione… Be in control._

"You alright there, Herm – **What in bloody hell are you wearing!**" Ginny yelled at her, as she saw Hermione's "finished" state.

"The dress we got yesterday," Hermione replied. "What's wrong with you?"

Ginny slapped her forehead. "Hermione Hermione Hermione… This is not – " she took off the shawl Hermione had tobacco-wrapped around herself " – NOT the way you wear a _backless_ gown."

Hermione sulked, covering her back. "Ginny! I feel like a porn star!"

"Lucky you!" Ginny scrutinized the older girl – from her frizzy hung hair down to her black flats. She sighed, shaking her head. "Sometimes, I think you're lesbian."

"WHAT!"

"Well, you don't know how to dress like a girl! I mean, a normal teenage girl!" Ginny explained. "And the influence of Harry and my oh-so-great brother is not helping to hone your femininity. Sometimes, you should hang out with me."

Hermione took a quick look at Ginny's orange highlights, her Harajuku make-up, and her handmade tiara. _Maybe next time…_

Ginny got a brush and began combing Hermione's hair, styling it into a bun.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked in horror. _Ginny's not thinking of giving me a makeover, right?_

"Saving your life," Ginny answered casually. _Oh no, she is…_ "Now sit back and don't say a word or I'll tell everyone about how you and that Slytherin git made out!"

"But I didn't!" Hermione replied, blushing. _What the hell! Does everyone in Hogwarts think that way? On second thought, yes, they are probably thinking that way._

"Exactly!" Carefully, Ginny wrapped the shawl around Hermione's bun. The cascading effect was _perfectement_! She searched the girl's drawer and replaced Hermione's plain gold earrings with tiny dangling jade. ("See, why didn't you use this stuff in your drawer?" Ginny had cried.) For the finishing touch, she placed a green brooch on her dress.

Hermione grinned in surprise. At first, she was afraid Ginny would make her look tacky. But, she actually liked the alterations!

"Oh and wear these!" Ginny threw a pair of stilettos at Hermione's feet.

"Aw, Ginny… Thanks a lot!" Yet Hermione faced a disappointed – looking girl. "What's wrong?"

"Something's missing…" Ginny muttered. Then her eyes lit up. "Hermione, turn around."

"What? I think it's enough…"

"Just turn around!"

"Okay…" Hermione followed Ginny's order even though she wasn't really sure about it. Suddenly, she felt a soft stinging on her back. "Ow…What have you done to me?" She faced her questioningly.

"Nothing…" Ginny replied. "I changed my mind…" But there was a satisfied smile on her face.

Hermione's brow arched up. "Really…"

"Yeah yeah…Do you feel anything different? No. So there."

Hermione still felt something was a bit fishy. But it didn't matter. The pain was gradually fading. Ginny slipped her arm into Hermione's and said, "Now, half the boys would salivate over you!"

"Half?"

Ginny giggled. "The other half would be too busy staring at me!"

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: LOL this is such a short chapter…what? I couldn't think of anything more to add… So wanna gimme a review? I accept flames (and hope that the flamer burns in hell everyday)… haha You do know I was joking there, right? Right.

p.s. pls. give me your ideas about Hermione's dress too… Would lurve it! And if you have any ideas about what Malfoy and Harry would wear, ok, tell me.


	9. And As Always, The Lovers Meet

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: All right! What a long hibernation period :P Been too busy with life and all that crap. Hehe So anyway, I'm done with Chapters 9-11 except I didn't type them yet. Haha ;; So here it is. The Ball. :)

Just keep on reviewin' and I'll keep on ficcing! wink

**Chapter IX: And As Always, The Lovers Meet**

Damn it.

Malfoy wouldn't admit it. It was all so terribly, terribly wrong. But the Mudblood looked awfully stunning.

Malfoy stole a few more minutes to look at her. Laughing, talking, glowing. The way the black made her skin seem softer and smoother, as creamy as milk, did things to his stomach he'd never admit to anyone. This didn't seem like the Hermione Granger Hogwarts knew. Not even the Mudblood Draco had met, insulted, hated. And then Hermione looked at his direction and smiled. Those ripe pink lips bursting like bloody strawberries... Fuck fuck fuck these thoughts.

_Lips like sugar...sugar kisses...  
Lips like sugar...sugar kisses..._

Wrapped in a black halter silk cocktail dress, she entered the Great Hall, arm in arm with the Weasel's little sister. Not that it had become his hobby to study her but the moment she stepped in the room, everyone's eyes were fixed on her too. Memories of Winter Ball and Viktor Krum emerged in his head...of how he had stared at her and Krum, embarrassingly green with envy. It seemed like deja vu how she entered the hall - confident and painfully regal.

Why am I thinking this way? Draco thought, struggling not to glance some more. I was supposed to hate her, right? Abhor her. Wish her dead. But no. I had to think these sodding thoughts, feel these sodding feelings. I... I don't know.

Despite the protests of his brain, Draco turned to see her. Granger. The Mudblood. She had her back to him now. Where she - fuck strawberries! - she had a tattoo!

The tattooed lion growled at everybody, suspiciously resembling the MGM lion in those old movies. Draco found himself smiling in disbelief. So this was why the others were looking at her! Gotta hand it to you, Granger...

"How could you have the guts to stare at a mudblood like that?" Malfoy suddenly burst out at Zabini who was making no move to conceal his surprise.

"Could I help it?" He retorted, ignoring Malfoy. "She looks fantastic! The lion is smashing! And you're just jealous 'cause you can't even have her!" He laughed.

"Ugh..." Malfoy groaned. "You make me sick, Zabini..." He threw a disgusted look at the Slytherin but stole a glance at the frizzy-haired Gryffindor (who wasn't even frizzy-haired tonight), who even in the middle of the commotion, didn't fail to meet his eye. In half a second, both turned away.

**-.-.-.-.-**

"Harry! Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "Look, it's Hermione!"

"Where?" Harry strained his neck to see but he just couldn't spot her. Unbelievable! _Of all the most important events to be with her, I couldn't be with her. Stupid masquerade..._ "I don't see anything, you moron!"

"Over there!" Ron kept on pointing to the right. "The girl in the black dress with Ginny, the orange-haired witch... So that's why she didn't want us to see her..."

"Where? You're making up sto - yes I see her!" Harry's jaw dropped right down to hell. Hermione was pretty - more than pretty! His heart ached with jealousy as he thought of the lucky git who'd be dancing with her. Come to think of it...he had a one in three hundred chance to be her partner. But that would be too random.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Ron asked him, wondering why Harry was spacing out like that. He had a feeling Harry was thinking of Hermione again. Yes, he obviously was.

"Merlin, cut it out!" Ron said disgustingly at him. "Your saliva's all over the floor!"

"Killjoy," Harry muttered, wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

"Hermione freak!"

"So what if I am?"

Ron sighed. Then his eyes bulged in seeing Hermione's bare back. "Harry, look! She's got a bloody tattoo! Whoa!!"

"Holy!" Harry stared and asked himself if tonight would be the perfect time...

**-.-.-.-.-**

Dumbledore studied the hundreds of young witches and wizards of Hogwarts, and for a moment, thought himself old compared to them... but immediately scratched the thought. He clapped his hands for attention and using his wand, announced the official start of the ball. "Well, let's just get this over with, don't you think?" He waved his wand and grinned.

Everyone looked up at the ceiling (a midnight purple velvet thing) and gasped as thousands of little angels poured from above. Laughing, smiling...each angel oozed bliss.

Small soft hands covered Hermione's eyes, and she drew in her breath as she felt the little angel's lips on her cheek. _Trust me..._

Momentarily blinded, Hermione could hear nothing but the astounded murmurs of her friends. She felt herself floating away from where she was previously standing, felt herself being led by the cherubim to some certain space.

_We're here..._

"Wh - Where?"Hermione sputtered as she felt the warm embrace of furlined cufflinks around her right wrist.

_Now!_

Everything was a blur... the images changing from black to a watercolor mixture of colors. But she could make out a blonde...blue eyes...

"Oh no!" Hermione gasped. "No no no no nonononoooooo!!"

In surprise, Malfoy narrowed his eyes; and could only stare in recognition at the girl backing away from him.

"Don't tell me you're my partner!" Draco exclaimed. He turned to their angels. "There must be some mistake or something!"

Both angels faced each other. _Dragonsbane?_ Malfoy's angel nodded. _September Nymph?_ Hermione's angel nodded too. Both hugged each other, squealing in delight.

"But I don't want to be his partner!" Hermione cried, struggling to break free from the velvet prison. "Take these away from me!"

_Tut! Tut! Hermione, this is the importance of the whole "masquerade" ball or something... So all the houses would forget grievances, even for a night..._

"Our misunderstanding does not include whichever house we're in!" Hermione snapped.

_That's too bad... but we can't do anything about it!_ Giggle. _So long!_

"Wait!" Hermione said. "What if I want to go to the washroom? Don't tell me I have to bring him along?"

"Ew!" Draco retorted. "Like I'd want to!"

_You've been magicked until the ball ends... Bye!_

Hermione glared at the angels who've flown away, at the other pairs who seem to be happy at the results, and lastly, at her PARTNER. What, is he going to be her partner in everything forever?! Well, technically speaking, he would be. But couldn't Fate leave even her last day of maidenhood?!

Draco frowned back at her. "I don't like the look on your face, Mudblood..." He looked her over from head to foot and grinned. "But I do like the package."

Hermione blushed. The idiot! "Don't even think about it..."

"I don't have to! I've seen, no, tasted it all!" Malfoy laughed. "You know, Granger... I like how your lips purse out and swell like it just came from a lip-sucking session...Cute." He whispered, mouth so close to Hermione's lips. "But I especially like the tattoo on your back...Nice touch!"

The girl jerked in shock. Tattoo? Did she hear him right? "Huh? What tattoo? I got no tattoo!"

"Oh? Then what is that growling lion doing there?"

Hermione was speechless. So that was the stinging sensation! Ooh Ginny is going to get it! "I have a tattoo!" Then, she faced the forever-smirking Malfoy and said, "So I have a tattoo. Eat your heart out!"

"Hoho!" Draco started. "Rule No. 1 in countering your enemies: fight love with love."

"How could you talk about something you aren't even capable of giving?"

"How do you know I'm not capable of that?" Draco retorted. "You always say I don't know you, Mudblood.. But get this: you don't know me either..." He turned away from her. "So stop acting like you do."

Hermione sighed in surrender. "Fine, fine! We both don't know each other. Period. Hey, look at me when I'm talking. Good." She stared into Draco's eyes. "I just wanna have fun tonight, okay? Can we forget about every single thing, just for this night? Then we'll continue our bickering in the marital scene."

"Fine," Draco replied, and sat down. Finally...some peace and quiet.

Hermione snatched a glass of water from a passing waiter, smiled to herself and finished the drink before you could say Hermione Granger. She sat next to Malfoy, and for the next thirty minutes, all they did was sit side by side while staring everywhere but each other.

**-.-.-.-.-**

"I see Destiny has lent a hand in your plans..."

Dumbledore looked up to see Snape looking at the same view he was observing earlier. Malfoy and Granger. "If you think I had something to do - "

"Oh no no no..." Snape interrupted. "I didn't say anything like that." He paused. "It just seems so bloody coincidental."

The headmaster smiled. "Yes, if you think about it, yes... You know, I've decided to cancel their 'marriage'."

Snape stared at the older man in shock. "You are?"

"Yes... it looks like I wouldn't have to be doing the dirty work after all. The pure thought of it tortures them out of their wits. I'll just have to send them both to detention when classes resume. Whatever I do anyway, they just seem to... be together, for no particular reason."

"Hmm... I don't know, Dumbledore," Snape replied. "They do seem drawn to each other... Could it be that they staged the whole We-hate-each-other scenario to get themselves out of the mess?"

"Ah you're thinking too much, Snape!" Dumbledore said. "Besides, I don't think Miss Granger's conscience could carry that."

"But - but why? Why did...?"

"Speak no more, Snape!" Dumbledore inserted. "My decision is final. There will be no marriage." He looked back at the young pair and studied them intently. _We'll just see what happens..._

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: I know it's a bit short but weh. Lol Like it? Love it? Hate it? Review please. :P Wait for **Chapter X Until Midnight** coming up!


	10. Until Midnight

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: So when you guys find out about this, you'd probably say, "Whew! Finally!" Lol So sorry for the delay haha I just can't help the fact that real life's been such a bitch with work and all. :sigh: And all my friendly friends who reviewed, please don't die on me:S Or else I'd have no one who'd r&r mi stories! Lol ;) So ranting over, here's chapter 10 - what happens by the end of the ball?... :)

Disclaimer: Me no own Sweat (UB40), Love Song(311), the whole HP world (J.K. Rowling). So shut it with all the suing crap.

**Chapter X: Until Midnight**

Draco sighed.

_Merlin, what am I doing?_ _I'm supposed to be having fun here. Not sulking with the Mudblood! So much for our so-called truce...aargh!_

Hermione sighed. _Another song ended... How many songs have passed me by? 3? 4? Ten!? I wanna dance, I wanna dance, I wanna dance!!_

"Are you bored yet?" Draco suddenly asked without looking at her.

"I'm not bored," she lied.

"I'm not bored either..." Draco countered. _Acting like a toughie, huh? As if I didn't see you tapping your shoes a while ago._

_Standing across the room, I saw you smile... Said I wanna talk to you for a little while..._

"Granger..." Malfoy started.

Hermione groaned inwardly.

"You wanna dance?" Draco asked a flower arrangement. _Shit. Did I just ask the Mudblood to dance with me?_

Hermione glanced at him. "You wanna dance?"

Draco rolled his eyes at her. "We don't come to a dance to not dance..."

_Looking in your eyes, I'm looking in your big brown eyes..._

He stood up and looked at her. "So?"

_Girl I want to make you sweat, sweat 'til you can't sweat no more_

_And if you cry out, I'm gonna push it some more_

_Girl I want to make you sweat, sweat 'til you can't sweat no more_

_And if you cry out, I'm gonna push it some more_

Hermione blushed. At the lyrics. Not at him, of course. But he didn't know it.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." Draco muttered, yanking her to the dance floor. _I must be so desperate!_

Hermione let herself be led by Malfoy; her feet betraying her while the rasta beat pulsed through her body. _I can't believe I'm doing this... I must have looked so desperate!_

_Alalalalalong... Alalalalalong... Alalalalalonglong lilonglonglong!_

Draco started rocking his head, and Hermione almost laughed at the insanity of the whole idea of her and Malfoy dancing. Reggae, of all dances! But she froze when he began swaying his body so dangerously close to her.

Malfoy smirked. "Got cold feet?"

At this, she was brought back to her senses. "Draco Malfoy, you really underestimate me, don't you?"

Draco shrugged, continuing his moves.

_But before I make my move, my emotions start running wild..._

All of a sudden, Hermione put her arms around Draco's neck and started dancing all over him, grinding and moving with the grace of a professional stripper.

And Draco Malfoy was shocked out of his balls.

_My tongue gets tied and that's no lie..._

At the far end of the hall, Professor Snape was choking on his margarita. "Did I just see what I just saw?" He asked the Headmaster who just chuckled him off.

"You're drinking too much, Severus!"

_Okay, this was a bad move... You got yourself into this, Draco. Get yourself out before things get out of control! Wait. It is out of control!_

Draco kept up with Hermione to make them look inconspicuous. People were beginning to stare and he was feeling a bit awkward. But then he saw Harry watching them, and the look on his face made Malfoy's mind tick.

_Eyes... I'm looking in your big brown eyes..._

Then, without asking, without thinking, Draco pulled Hermione into his arms. Tight. He felt the Mudblood stiffen and he laughed. He took a sideways glance at Potter and relished in his low spirits. _Must be very hard seeing your little slut bitching around with your archenemy, huh, Potter?_

Hermione was still immobile, too shocked to even breathe.

"Granger!" Draco said, shaking the girl. "Move, will you?"

"What...what are you doing, Malfoy?" Finally, she got her tongue back.

Draco looked at her with a weird expression. "Dancing, Mudblood. This is what you call dancing."

Suddenly the lights started to dim and voices were hushed. "And this song goes out to all the lovers out there, young, old, pretty, ugly..." Professor Flitwick was saying over the mic. "Severus, play it please."

The slow dance has begun.

_Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am young again..._

_Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again..._

_However far away, I will always love you..._

_Whatever words I say, I will always love you..._

Hermione's breathing stopped when she felt Malfoy's hot breath on her ears. Why it was there, she did not know. Or even care. All she could think of was dancing all night around the heat emanating from his body.

And imagined Harry. Right across the room. Dancing with her.

On the other side, Draco wasn't so sure about his actions, either. Harry was definitely still enjoying the live show. But that didn't seem to be the reason why he's having an unexplainable overdose of some emotion. Then he felt the goosebumps on Hermione's back and realized he didn't want to know.

-.-.-.-.-

"Well, she seems happy!" Lavender said hotly, looking at Draco and Hermione enviously. She still hadn't gotten over the idea that Draco and she hadn't been partners for this night. She had been planning all year and that stupid Snape's plan had ruined everything. Well, she guessed she'd have to make the most of the night...

But it didn't help that her partner had also been staring at the pair like a bleeding Romeo. She looked at Harry, her partner. It was obvious he had something going on with Hermione...and she thought Hermione did too! But now, looking at her and Draco a second away from making out, she couldn't help but think Tattoo Girl was a selfish biatch.

_Of course, this isn't over..._

-.-.-.-.-

"Well, she seems happy..." Lavender had said.

So she had noticed too. Harry knew it could have been out of jealousy that the girl had said that. But Hermione did seem happy. And it was bitterly painful.

A while ago she was doing this striptease thing to Malfoy and Harry almost choked at the scene. He didn't understand...couldn't understand! Why couldn't he understand Hermione anymore?

If he was in Malfoy's place and Hermione did that to him, he would have died. But that was not the point. The point was Malfoy. Why did she do that with Malfoy? Why MALFOY? Of all the other people, why HIM!?

Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy... Harry stopped thinking. His brain was hurting and his heart was bleeding to death.

-.-.-.-.-

Hermione let out a deep breath. Water never failed to calm her. Her mouth had gone so dry; it was scorching! Well, after that moment... She was still trying to forget what happened on the dance floor - to no avail.

The moment she had felt it, Hermione pulled away from Malfoy, cleared her throat and said she wanted a drink. Breathing abnormally, it just dawned on her that she was a girl and Malfoy was a boy. It was perfectly natural for that moment to happen. What, with their bodies glued to each other like that.

_It will never happen again. That was not me! That was not even Harry!_

Hermione took a glimpse of Draco eating a slice of cake, biting, chewing, licking his lips... Merlin, it would never leave her memory! She will always remember that feeling... that feeling of Draco Malfoy _hard_.

-.-.-.-.-

"Hell, did you see that?" Draco gasped, tugging Hermione's arm. "Mary Hopkins just ripped her dress! Merlin, it's ORANGE!" He laughed with the others. "Down with the orange undies! Hell, yeah!" He cheered.

He glanced at Hermione. She wasn't laughing.

"Hey," he said, facing her. "Do not NOT laugh with me when I laugh. This is funny!" He pointed to the couple who was drawing too much attention. "You gotta laugh with me!"

"Hahaha," Hermione replied with a fake smile.

Draco sighed, annoyed, grumbling something about fucking Mudbloods.

"I can't help it, Malfoy..." Hermione said, not looking at him. "It annoys me to the bone. It's not right! It annoys me to see you acting as if nothing happened. Doesn't it bother you at all? Cause you know, I'm bothered like hell." She sighed.

It took a while before Draco replied. He thought they'd both agreed to talk this over some other place and time. To be honest, it had also been clawing at him. He had just kept the idea locked in.

"So what do you want me to do? Call my father?"

_What the hell could your father do? _"Haha. Don't you remember?" Hermione replied. "Dumbledore said our parents will be arriving tomorrow, which means they already know and they must have agreed to the whole thing."

"I don't think my father would agree to such," Draco said. "Our blood is at stake here, Granger. If you remember too, Purebloods don't mix with – "

"I know!" _Fuck your blood._ Hermione interrupted. "And what about me? I don't know how to face my parents... I don't know anymore. I don't know anything!" She paused. "We're stuck, Malfoy. We're stuck!"

"Oh, brother..." Draco muttered before drinking a glass of punch.

Parvati and her partner passed them by. She threw them a sarcastic look, and stage whispered, "What a coincidence! Tonight, there will be more to add to her hickey collection, don't you think?"

They laughed and ran off before Malfoy could slit their throats.

"Fuck."

"It's okay, Malfoy. No harm done."

_No harm done? No harm done?! People think we have a thing, Granger! And not just an ordinary thing. A __**physical**__ thing. And you say there's no harm done? Fuck. That stupid little Gryffindor slut even dared to talk about me in front of me!_

Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione stole a glance at Draco. His face did not register happiness. It wasn't even blank. She gulped, and looked away. _Better to warn him now. Before... Merlin, I can't even think the thought! _

Hermione looked at him. "Malfoy... I want you to promise..."

Draco's eyebrow shot up. "That?"

"That when we're married..." She stared at him with narrowed eyes. "You should never try to fuck me..."

Draco choked in his drink. What in the blazes was she thinking? "You have guts, woman!" He managed to say after he calmed down. And all the while, he thought Hermione was the conservative type when it came to stuff like this. Conservative girls don't say "fuck" (in that sense) right out in front of a guy! What a secret biatch!

Hermione pointed a finger at him, and added. "Don't even try to get touchy-feely with me or you'll really get it!"

"You make me puke, Granger!" Draco spat.

"I know you, Malfoy..." her voice trailed off.

"Merlin, you don't know me!" Draco defended. "Is this because of the dancing thing? Oh, I get it! You thought I was actually getting it on with you!"

Hermione just stared at him. With eyes filled with so much doubt and suspicion.

"What? I don't feel that way for you, okay?"

"I'm a woman, Malfoy," she answered. "Maybe you forgot. I could have you if I wanted... The problem is, I don't want to."

"You're ridiculous! A while ago we were just talking about our future and all that crap! By the way, I don't want you, either!"

"Do you really think I'm that gullible? That I don't know how boys feel when they're excited, Malfoy? I'm not really that naive, you know. I've had my cake, too... and I licked it clean off my plate."

Draco was reddening to the roots of his blonde hair. Wasn't she feeling the heat? It's nothing personal and all. Just hormones bouncing...no emotions involved. "I – I was looking at a Ravenclaw chick," he stammered.

"Lame!" Hermione continued. "I know it's normal and I do know you didn't mean it, being the horny pig that you are. I also know for a fact that men can't control urges as good as we ladies can. So you better behave, 'cause I'm watching you." Then she smiled at his dumbstruck expression and grabbed his arm. "Okay, I'm feeling much better! Let's dance again..."

-.-.-.-.-

"Hermione…"

_Harry._

Hermione turned around and faced the voice who had just called her name. Harry. The one she had daydreamed of being paired with. _My best friend…who might not even feel the same way._

"Harry!" She tried to sound normal, but it came out a little too giddy. "Wow…" She said, studying him, seeing how he looked awfully stunning tonight. "You look great!"

"So do you…" Harry replied, eyes cutting to her very core.

And Hermione was falling, deeper and deeper.

"Though I think the tattoo is too much, dear."

Hermione looked at the girl beside Harry. Lavender. She almost forgot her.

"Who asked you? I think you're jealous." _Malfoy._ She had forgotten **him**.

"Of course not!" Lavender's face flushed.

"How was your night?" asked Harry.

Hermione nodded. "I can handle it." She knew he wanted to ask: Are you okay _with him?_

"I still think otherwise…" Draco replied to Lavender. He tugged Hermione's wrist. "C'mon, Granger…"

Hermione stayed put. "I'm still talking to Harry, Malfoy."

Draco glared at her then at Harry. _Two against one. Shit_.

All of a sudden, the angles were back, swooping down from the ceiling to their assigned students. The scene had abruptly stopped the tension between them, and Draco turned just in time to see Dumbledore finish a spell. He cursed under his breath. _The old man saw!_ And as usual, he was protecting the hero of Hogwarts. How fucking sweet.

"The dance is over," Dumbledore announced. "You may go back to your dormitories and pack for tomorrow. Thank you, good evening, and Merry Christmas!" The angels then removed the handcuffs and kissed the students goodbye.

Harry pulled Hermione away from Draco and asked, "Well, did he do anything to you?" He couldn't help but remember what happened at Hogsmeade.

"No… Let him try and I'm cutting his balls off!"

"Ouch."

"Sorry..." Hermione said, grinning. She looked around. "Where's Ron?"

"He left earlier..."

"He left?"

"With his partner. You know..."

"Oh, I get it." The things men do today. Does Harry do it, too? Fart, what am I thinking?!

Harry held her hand. "Let's go." And leave Malfoy and forget the winter dance.

But before Hermione could reply, Draco had gotten hold of Hermione's arm and said, quietly demanding, "I'll take Granger to your dormitory."

What?

Both Harry and Hermione stared at him, in shock, confusion, annoyance.

"We have things to discuss," Draco explained, then looked at Hermione. "Don't we, Granger?"

Hermione opened her mouth, then closed it when she felt Draco grip her arm tighter. The wedding. They would talk about the wedding. She let go of Harry's hand and said, "You go ahead, Harry..."

"What?!"

"She said..." Draco started.

"I'll be back, Harry," Hermione interrupted before Malfoy could finish. "Just go."

"O...kay." Then, he left, eyes never breaking away from Malfoy's. Harry still didn't understand.

-.-.-.-.-

"Don't forget to wear white."

"That's it?" Hermione said, irritated at this fucked-up blonde who just destroyed every chance she could make out with Harry tonight. "That's all you wanted to tell me?! And you had to fricken' let Harry leave?"

Hermione glared at Draco, wishing that just looking at him would fry him to oblivion. _Fuck you! Fuck you, Malfoy!_ Then, she turned away. _Control... control..._

Without facing him, Hermione said, "Fine. We're done, aren't we?"

"No," came his reply. "We'll never be done."

_He's right_, Hermione thought hopelessly. _But I won't let you bring me down with you._

"Come on..." Draco said, grabbing her hand in his.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked, falling in step behind him.

"To your dormitory." Draco started to walk faster.

Hermione stopped. "This is unnecessary, Malfoy. I can take care of myself."

"I always keep my promises, Mudblood. Always..."

Then, Hermione noticed he was still holding her hand. And she blushed. And Draco noticed that, and – fuck – smiled.

Hermione walked faster, hoping she could reach Gryffindor without making any mistakes.

Because Draco didn't let go.

And Hermione, in spite of herself, couldn't shake him off. Her stomach was feeling nothing but a whirl of emotions – something Muggles fondly called "butterflies in the stomach". Her hands felt numb and she knew her palms were sweating in his cool collected ones. But she didn't dare let go, in case he may think he was affecting her. Yet Hermione knew, inside her head, that he really _was_ affecting her. The thought was awfully disturbing and she couldn't wait to reach the common room, which was fortunately one more turn away. The door would be open until midnight. _I'm almost there...almost..._

"Granger."

"Wha-?" Hermione looked back just in time to catch Malfoy's searing lips pressing down on hers. Her eyes grew wide as she felt him wrap his arms around her lithe body. "Malfmmoy, mngno! N-mmmmm!" She tried to fight back, squirming out of his grasp. But he was too strong for her, and she was as helpless as a fish out of water.

Draco couldn't help himself. Hermione was like ripe fruit waiting to be picked, and he would love to be the first one to taste her ripeness. Shit, how could a Mudblood make him feel this way?! He hated himself, and as punishment, kissed Hermione so hard he could have eaten her mouth off. Wrong strategy though. He only succeeded in making both of them more restless.

Hermione closed her eyes in guilty pleasure. The feel of his body so close to hers was something new to her. It was strangely familiar and unbelievably comforting. And his lips... Merlin, these lips were made for snogging! _So soft and terribly delicious..._

Blindly, Hermione cupped Draco's face as she surrendered to his whims. His cheeks were soft and warm, contrary to Slytherin hearsay; and when she pinched one softly, Draco moaned in her mouth and fondled the nape of her neck in playful revenge. Which of course, made Hermione want to slide down and melt on the floor.

Draco, on the other side, was enjoying his little dessert. The forbidden fruit was always the most delicious. Kissing the Mudblood was like sneaking a bite of Devil Fruitcake, which 'if you eat too much (oohh), you'll awake with a tummy ache'.

And then, without warning and as sudden as a Jack-in-the-box surprise, Hermione felt Draco's hand creepy-crawling on her breast.

Draco smiled as he succeeded in First Base.

At first touch, Hermione stiffened, unsure of what to do. Her protests were cut short by Malfoy's kisses and; deep inside, there's that nice stirring something that kept telling her to let it go on. Her breaths were quicker, her face got hotter, her chest heaved higher and higher and higher as Malfoy gently kneaded that soft milky lump.

"M – al...foy..." Hermione tried to say. This was getting waaaaaaay out of hand_. Fuck, Hermione, what are you thinking!? This is friggin' Draco Malfoy, your supposed enemy! He's violating you, and here you are, loving it!_

Draco couldn't hear her, or anything for that matter. All that occupied his head was Hermione's luscious bosom filling his hand and her soft tongue feeling and tasting so much like strawberry jelly. Reminding him of chocolate mousse, parmesan cheese, the Malfoy kitchens, past loves... and without knowing it, he muttered, "Alessandra..."

_Alessandra?_ At the sound of someone else's name, Hermione pulled herself away from him, staring at him with hurt and disbelief. There was something huge stuck in her throat, something that made her want to vomit in his face so badly, made her want to strangle him until he begged for dear old death.

_Shit shit shitshitshit!_ Draco shouted in his head. But all he could do, in real life, was stare back at her with lips dried with embarrassment. "Granger... I – you didn't really - " He said, grinning as an excuse for everything.

_Holy mother of Merlin..._ Hermione closed her eyes. She couldn't help it. Images of her sticking a screwdriver into Malfoy's eyes kept playing in her head. _You fucking twat! _"Yeah I didn't really...whatever the fuck – " she managed to say, turning her back to him and walking ahead.

"Granger," Malfoy called, following her, only causing her to walk even faster. "Granger!" He called again.

"Good night, Mr. Malfoy!" _Stay one more minute, and I'm definitely killing you._ Hermione could feel the blood in her ears. What was she thinking, letting him do that to her? And what did she expect anyway? That Draco _fucking_ Malfoy would change overnight? Damn hormones!

"Granger, hold on!" Draco caught up with her, grabbing her arm. "I – " He tried to explain it but the words wouldn't come out. He couldn't even look at her!

"Let go..." Hermione just said, sounding tired. Draco didn't even notice that they finally arrived at the door of the Gryffindor common room, the Fat Lady's brows arching higher than usual at this scene.

Draco released his hold and finally grabbed the courage to face her. She looked back with disappointed, I-can't-believe-you-just-used-me-but-what-the-hell-did-I-expect-from-Malfoy eyes. _Don't look at her._ He looked away.

"I don't have to tell you what you don't have to forget, right?" She reminded him.

"Yeah."

There was an unreadable expression plastered across Hermione's face before she entered the Gryffindor dormitory. She turned back for one last look – "Merr-" Draco started to say – but the Fat Lady had just closed in on his face. _Merry Christmas, Granger._

-.-.-.-.-

Now of all the after parties, the Slytherin after parties were known to be the wildest. Triple the food, triple the booze, triple everything! And guess who's the Prince of this nightlife? No one else but Malfoy.

But that night, Malfoy was out of his mind; his soul left dancing in the Great Hall.

Swallowing vodka like pumpkin juice, he spotted Pansy Parkinson walking towards him. He cringed. He never liked her. She was the weird type but would give herself only to the "higher people". She flirted her ass off as fast as she dyed her hair. Today it was brown. Brown hair…brown wavy hair…brown wavy curls like that of the water goddess tanning herself under the sun. Familiar, dancing wavy hair… Brown…wavy…brown wavy…

In an instant, Draco grabbed her by the wrist and led her to his room. "I think I'll be needing your services…"

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to review/fave/whatever! (Flame me for all I care.) Anyone wants to beta the following chapters? Just review/msg/whatever. Thank you, Ruby for doing the whole beta thing. :)


	11. I Thee Wed

**Slippery Soap Suds**

**A/N**: I am getting lazier & lazier by the minute. Plus, I'm losing the motivation to continue my fics. Thank you for the reviews:) I guess the last chapter was a bit…inappropriate lol But hey, life isn't all cotton candy and rainbow-coloured unicorns. In this chapter, Draco and Hermione go through excruciating and insane wedding jitters. Don't be fooled by the title. ;)

Disclaimer: Me no own the whole HP world (J.K. Rowling). So shut it with all the suing crap.

**Chapter XI: I ****Thee Wed**

My dress was a beautiful recreation of the Virgin Mary's bridal gown. Pure white, pure innocence in silk and satin. The bouquet I held was a fresh bunch of pearl white lilacs nestled perfectly in my French-tipped hands. I looked up only to find that my view was partly hidden by the netted veil. I turned around and saw that my train was long enough to create a beautiful puddle of velvet sheets.

The place was like a scene from a billion-dollar Hollywood movie, complete with drapes and candles. Butlers were everywhere attending to the needs of everyone else. I tried to find a familiar face but everything was a blur.

Someone took my arm and I looked up to see who it was. Dad.

I smiled at him as he walked me to the aisle. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. The wedding of my dreams with the man…

I faced the stage, and my groom. Dad released me with hesitation and left me to walk the remaining steps. My tears blocked my sight and I didn't notice the groom lifting up my veil. He wiped my eyes dry with a soft white handkerchief, and chuckled with a laughter that sounded like the early chimes of bells from eighteenth-century Europe. "Please don't cry on our wedding day."

I stared at him and his golden hair and his shining eyes and _that smirk_. "You do know you don't have waterproof mascara, right, Mudblood?"

The bride died of a heart attack.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Hermione woke up from her nightmare, screaming. She was breathing with great effort, trying not to lose her mind and her control in the process. She looked around. _Good, I didn't wake anybody up. _She looked out the window. Most likely, it's about four o'clock in the morning._ Oh fuck. I'm going to marry __Malfoy__ today. It's taking all of my __willpower not to bury him alive the moment he says 'I do'. But then, is living with him really such a bad idea? After this wedding, what happens next? I guess, only time will tell._ She went back to sleep.

----------

_I have been waiting for almost an hour now. I'm hungry and tired and nervous. It doesn't help that I don't see any of our parents yet._

_And I can't stand the way Dumbledore is looking at me, as if I murdered __Malfoy__ last night to cancel the marriage. Not that I couldn't… I mean, I almost did, when you think about it. If only it weren't a sin._

_I drew in my breath for like the forty-second time since I entered this room. My hands are all sweaty and my heart is beating wilder than an African tribal drum. Merlin, __Malfoy__, I don't need this kind of suspense!_

"Just relax, Miss Granger."

Hermione looked at the Headmaster. Dumbledore was smiling, eyes twinkling with that mysterious something that everybody never failed to notice. "This won't take longer than thirty minutes," he added.

Hermione sighed softly. Malfoy, where the hell are you?

"Oh, Merlin!" The doors suddenly opened for a gasping and sweating Draco Malfoy. His face was all red and his hair was far beyond order. He stood by the door, huffing as he looked at Hermione. She was wearing a black dress under a white bolero, neat and perfect. As always. He imagined his sweaty self with his crumpled white polo shirt, fading grey slacks and half-shined shoes. Damn, this was not his best day.

He sat down to the chair next to Hermione, mumbling, "Sorry…I woke up late."

"Because you stayed up late," Hermione finished, matter-of-factly.

Malfoy wanted to glare at her but stopped himself when he remembered they were not supposed to be in speaking terms; and that little remark was nothing but a reminder of their _real_ relationship. Enemies.

Enemies forced into marriage. How fucking ironic.

"Fine, fine, fine," Dumbledore said, before the two started biting each other's heads off, noticing the heavy tension that hung between them. He smiled and cleared his throat. "The ceremony of marriage…now that sounds serious, eh?"

Nobody laughed.

He continued on. "Before we start, I want to know what you expect in this relationship."

"Honestly? I expect a life of misery in the depths of hell." Hermione practically spat the words out of her mouth. "You have sentenced me to a lifetime of torture, sir."

"Ah, I see... And you, Mr. Malfoy?"

"It's not like I have much of a say in this situation," Malfoy said, coldly. "This marriage is inevitable, period. But don't expect me to whine like her. I'm going to continue living my life, as if she were never there. That Mudblood holds nothing but my name."

Deep in the recesses of Hermione's heart, she heard a pin drop.

And then a thousand followed suit.

The crash was so deafening, it hurt.

"Let's just get this over with," Hermione sighed.

"Very well, then. If you insist," Dumbledore said, getting up from his chair. "Please proceed to the chapel on the 3rd floor while I will brief your parents for a few moments."

Gravely, Draco and Hermione got up and walked out of the office of the old man (who was chuckling behind closed doors).

----------

_Shit! This is it! This is the real thing! We're getting married. Draco fucking __Malfoy__ and I are getting married!? Holy shit, that sounds like the end of the world!!! Okay, calm down. Oh shit! I can't face my parents! I don't know what they'll think of me. My life is officially over! I have no family, I have no friends… Shit __shit__shit__ I still have to explain to Harry and Ron –who will absolutely wring my neck when I tell them about this! Plus, Harry will definitely hate me! __Huhuhuhu__! But if they really love me, they'd understand, right? It's not like I wanted this to happen! This was just an accident. __A mistake – a very grave mistake.__ Sooner or later, they'll accept my situation. Maybe, they could even help me escape from this situation? Oh Merlin, why didn't I ever tell them about this?! They could've helped me find a way out of this mess! Merlin, I have to get away from this! Anyway I see it, it'__s doomsday for me. __ I have to escape!_

"Psst! Ferret…"

Draco frowned but didn't stop walking. _Ferret? Back to square one, I guess._

"Ferret!" Hermione called, louder this time.

"What?" Draco replied without interest, still not stopping.

"Stop walking and look at me, dammit!" Hermione ordered, definitely pissed off.

"I don't have to look at you. You can hear me. Plus…you can't just order me around like that, calling me a ferret and whatnot."

Hermione caught up with him and turned him towards her. "Look, I've been thinking, because, you know, life, tough, you are a ferret, I just thought – that, right now, like you know," Hermione was babbling, fidgeting with the sleeve of Malfoy's shirt, stumbling over words which didn't seem to make sense now. She let out a long heavy sigh. "Look, I can't do this. We can't do this."

Draco's eyebrow shot up. What's this? "What are you saying?" He asked, doubtfully eyeing Hermione's hand on his arm.

Hermione sighed. "I'm saying, we cannot get married. Absolutely not. Not like this."

Draco chuckled. "And what do you propose we do, Mudblood?"

"What do you mean, what _I_ propose to do?" Hermione half-screamed at him, tightening her grip on his arm and making him wince painfully. "_You_ think of a good plan, Mr. I'm-Making-Out-With-You-And-Then-Say-Some-Other-Girl's-Name-Just-To-Break-You-Mudblood-Bitch! My mind is completely fried I cannot think straight! I can't even finish coherent sentences in this state of, of insanity! And don't you even dare call me Mudblood in my face again or I'm gonna beat you with a club!"

"Aah…" Draco fought away from her death grip and tried to keep himself from grinning. "So this is what this is all about?"

"Huh?"

"You're pissed off because I called out someone else's name when we were, um, what's the word – _pleasuring_ ourselves?" Draco couldn't help it. He just had to give her _that_ smirk.

"Aaargh!!!" Hermione wanted to kill him over and over and over and…you get the point. She moaned helplessly. "Why do I even bother?"

There was a twinkle in Draco's eyes as he observed this remarkable display of frustration from none other than the usually composed Ms. Know It All herself. It was like she had turned into a deranged and paranoid old lady. This was definitely much more entertaining than the usual torments she had to put up with.

Nevertheless, the married life wasn't exactly his cup of tea, either. He grimaced at the thought of "Mrs. Malfoy". Yes, they had to get out of this. Admittedly, he didn't find this marriage thing as disturbing before, even "advising" Granger to treat it as some "game of pretend". But that was before last night, before he realized how heavy a mistake the idea of him and Hermione alone, Pureblood and Mudblood, _could_ turn out to be…

"Hmmm…"

Hermione glanced at Draco who appeared to be in deep thought. Ho ho! Could it be? The fucking twat was thinking? Well, it's not that she was underestimating him but sometimes, Malfoy could appear like such a bimbo. All looks and no brains. Wait, he didn't really have brains. He had cleverness – he was a sly, cunning, crafty flesh of Romanesque charisma. If you think about it –really think about it – he had _almost_ seduced her last night, which means…

"I have a plan!" Draco's sudden outburst snapped the witch away from her thoughts.

_Disgusting thoughts,_ she seethed inside her head. "Okay, let's hear it!"

"I suggest we run away!" Draco declared seriously, taking Hermione's arm as if they would run away right then and there.

"You, you mean e-elope!?" Hermione stammered, eyes screaming bloody murder at him.

"No, you doofus!" Draco sounded amused. "We're running away. Flee. Take off. Get out. Escape." Hermione's expression softened. "Not elope. Eloping is for lovers, and that is definitely not what we are…yet." He added for the fun of it.

"What do you mean 'yet', yo-!?" Hermione protested but Draco already had her in _his_ death grip now. And he has decided that yes, this was the only way. "Yes, this is the only way, you little Mudblood." He led her to the other direction. "Think of it as a vacation from this nightmare. More time to think of how we can avoid this silly marriage. Or…is there anything _else_ you can suggest?" He assumed the silence meant yes, and hurried off.

"Oi, where are we going?" Hermione asked, trying to catch up with him.

Draco didn't really know. "For now, we have to find a place to hide and plan this out."

"And what will you two plan out?"

That familiar voice, at this particular moment, sent shivers down both students' spines. Draco was the first one brave enough to face the pale, sarcastic teacher. "Professor Snape! Hahaha what a coincidence! We were just talking abo- " His voice trailed away as he saw the fat black book in the teacher's arms. Engraved on its front cover was unmistakeably, a Latin cross. _A Bible?!_

The tenser grip on his arm proved that Hermione had noticed it too. Snape… Snape was marrying them!?

"So what were you chitchatting about?" The teacher asked them again, suspicion clouding his already suspecting eyes.

"Nothing of importance, Professor! Hahaha!" Hermione interrupted, hoping to sidetrack the teacher.

"Fifty points off Gryffindor for answering when not being questioned," Professor Snape snapped. He faced Draco. "Mister Malfoy, provide me with an answer that will satisfy my curiosity as to what you were 'plotting'… since the sight of the two of you together, hand in hand, is very…disconcerting."

Flustered, both Draco and Hermione released their hold on each other.

Draco laughed. "It's nothing like that, Professor. You know how _clingy_ girls are at the thought of spending their entire life with me." This earned him a kick in the shin. "Ow!"

Professor Snape put up a smug grin. "Or could it be…that you've been secretly having an affair with each other and have planned this whole situation to your advantage to get married earlier than the normal standard? Really now… the cunningness of it is truly Slytherin but Miss Granger going along? This says much about Gryffindor obedience then."

Hermione's jaw dropped at the implications. _T__he imbecile! The donkey-humping __git_" Excuse me, Professor!"

-"Fifty points off Gryffindor."

"What?!"

-"Twenty points."

"Professor, isn't this a bit…" Draco tried to interject.

"Shut your trap, Draco if you don't want the house losing points."

"Sod your bloody points!" Hermione screeched, unable to restrain herself any longer. The Slytherin teacher's mouth formed an O of shock. "I am sick of you and your pretentious behaviour! You are an ugly user-abuser who dresses in emo drag for fun! Rot in hell, you poopface!" She was panting heavily after screaming out that torrent of sealed emotions.

"Granger," Malfoy whispered, slowly taking her hand. "I think it's time…to RUN!" Without waiting for the shell-shocked Professor, both sprinted away to somewhere they could both be safe.

----------

Inside a broom closet with Malfoy is not a safe place.

"You are fucking touching me everywhere!" Hermione hissed, clawing at Draco.

"I am not, you filthy pervert!" Draco retorted, defending himself from the other girl's wrath. "Would you please lower your voice and calm down so they won't hear us and so we can actually start thinking!?"

Hermione roared viciously but then crouched still. "Okay. Let's think."

"All right," Draco started in a hushed tone. "So we're running away…"

"Yes, but to where?"

"Let me finish, okay?" Draco said, irritated. "We should go to the last place they'd think of finding us. A protected place where we could hide temporarily. We'll come back when this whole issue has blown over. That time, they've probably forgotten our existence, and hopefully this wedding thing."

"But wouldn't running away turn this into an even bigger issue?" Hermione countered. "People might think of even worse things."

"That's why we're leaving them a letter explaining our reasons." Draco smiled at his ingenuity. "Clever, huh?"

"Whatever," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, back to the first problem. Where is this protected place they wouldn't think of finding us?"

"How about…my rest house in Baltimore?" Draco suggested. "It's one of those unlisted estates under the name of my father's uncle. It's in a Muggle area and even Narcissa doesn't know about it." He was getting excited. "We could stay there for a few weeks, and then hopefully come back with an answer. This could work, Granger!"

"Are you sure nobody else knows about that house? You know about Dumbledore's sources," Hermione asked, making sure. They were already risking too much – a scandal in the bath, questionable appearances together, ditching their wedding day, taking off with intent. Things should not go wrong from now on.

"It is safe!" Draco promised. "I'm in this too, remember? Or do you want to be married to me?"

"No!" came her strong rebuttal. This may not be the most acceptable plan of action but, in their eyes, it is positively the most plausible. She continued in a softer voice. "I'm going with you, only if it is completely and absolutely safe."

"So we have a deal?" Draco tried to offer his hand to her but ended up squishing her chest. Hermione hit his chin with her elbow. "Ouch, you lump of batdung! You're doing it again! Why are you so horny? I told you not t- "

Draco didn't let her finish. It happened all of a sudden. He had pulled her towards him, his hand on her mouth, silencing her. Hermione couldn't move; she was stuck in his arms. She couldn't breathe and her heart was beating so hard. Why did he always do this to her? She couldn't understand what was happening. Sh –

"Shh..." Draco warned her in a low voice. Hermione stopped her hormones from thinking, and listened intently. Footsteps! Someone was near. She wanted to slap herself for even thinking of _other things_. But then, something sounded wrong. The footsteps got louder. Someone was coming…towards them!

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore.

"I, I don't know, Headmaster."

Hermione stiffened at the sound of Harry's voice. _He'__s here?_

"Snape was certain something was up… and they're not in the ch… third floor."

"I don't really understand what's going on but, that's what it says here." Harry continued. "And the Marauder's Map has never been wrong…so far." Pause. "But, in a broom closet? With Malfoy?"

Hermione couldn't bear to hear the hurt in Harry's question, and she dug her face deeper into Malfoy's body to muffle a cry.

At that instant, the door of the broom closet swung open.

And all their lies came slithering out.

"Yes, Harry. In a broom closet, with Malfoy."

---------

A/N: I know, I know, I know! I'm so mean to Harry! Don't kill me! It was just so dramatic to leave it like that. I couldn't help it. XD Click that review button and go bash me or praise me with words:3

What happened to Draco and Hermione? Will they get married? Will they fall in love?! Will Harry commit suicide? What happened to Snape!? All that and more, in the next chapter of Slippery Soap Suds! XDDD


	12. Archer Inn

**Slippery Soap Suds **

A/N: Where are all the HP fanfic readers? Are they hiding under tons and tons of exam review sheets like me for the last few weeks? Whatever, what's done is done. ) Exams are over and the 2nd sem is just around the corner. EDIT: Well lookie here, I actually graduated high school! And here I still am! Here's another much delayed chapter for you guys. Lol actually, mostly for my writing pleasure.

Disclaimer: Me no own the whole HP world (J.K. Rowling). And _The Chauffeur_ is owned by Deftones, not me. I was thinking of the Deftones version, not the Duran Duran one. So shut it with all the suing crap.

**Chapter XII: Archer** **Inn **

_Archer Inn. _

_Since 1527 _

Draco Malfoy stood before the immense castle-like Archer Inn, breathing in the soul of a centuries-old structure. He had been here before. For the record, he comes here at least once a year. Just for unwinding.

Located on top of Mount Pleasant, isolated from civilization, Archer Inn somehow reminded him of Malfoy Manor. Without the "Malfoy" part.

Still, it was a great place for vacation… hiking, camping, swimming in the lake just near the inn, spending time with yourself and the peace and quiet, free from the deluge of pressure and all that.

Usually come Christmas, the Malfoys would travel to some other place, celebrating the holidays with other Malfoys. Sometimes, the other Malfoys came to their place. Some Blacks came, too. Christmas would always be stick-to-the-Purebloods time, and how he hated those family gatherings! Lucius introducing him to Uncle This Uncle That, bragging about how a fine young lad his boy would come to be, while Narcissa keeps on nodding and smiling and saying "Oh, yes!" every time. Fine fucking lad I turned out to be, he thought.

And then, just like that, he thought of the Mudblood. Granger.

He would have been married to her right now. Strange how the thought of her didn't repulse him so. A month ago, he would have whipped himself for even thinking of her. It confused him how much she had affected him. How for the past few days, they had spent so much time without even planning whatsoever. Confused him and mixed him all up. How he almost – almost gone too far.

And this time, he didn't hate her for it. He hated himself for almost feeling.

What would have happened? He was curious, but not curious enough to wish things had been different. The present is good as it is. No more wedding. No more Granger.

--

Home. Ain't no better place than where I'd spent half my life in. Happy. Family. Together.

Here comes Hermione Granger…a pretty little package all the way from school, beaming with joy as she greets her Mum and Dad with hugs. Hellos and How've-you-beens were exchanged. How was school? Great! But I missed you. More hugs. Merry Christmas to you and you and you.

So glad to be home. School was tough and rough but made it through somehow. I'm halfway to the end. No need to rush. Harry and Ron send their regards. Aw, that's nice. Your dad and I sent them gifts, by the way. You didn't! We did. That's really nice, Mum, Dad.

Then, in the midst of the perfect family's perfect conversation, Dad asked, "You didn't tell us what happened on your dance, sweetheart."

Mum nodded. "Yes, you couldn't stop talking about it last summer! And who was your partner? Was it that Harry boy? Have you got any pictures? C'mon!"

Hermione's mouth went dry. What could I possibly say to them? It was horrible! I wore a slutty-looking dress and I ended up with Draco Malfoy, who, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you, could have been my husband now because we were both caught in the tub making out, until Dumbledore changed his mind. Oh, by the way, Harry and I are not talking because he saw me in a broom closet hugging Draco Malfoy (again). "It was…okay."

"Hmm… not the dream dance you thought it would be, eh? That's all right, dear." Mum and Dad's smiles were so open and concerned Hermione would have spilled them everything right then and there. _Control, Hermione,_ she said to herself.

"Cheer up, sweetie!" Dad said, noticing her sudden change in emotion. "You're just in time for the big surprise!" Always the joker, Dad never failed to make her smile. Or something close to a smile, at the least.

"Dad… It wouldn't be a surprise if you tell me it's a surprise."

Dad laughed. "Okay, fine! I slipped. I was just so excited I couldn't control myself!"

"Oh well," Mom started. "Since the surprise is out anyway, better tell you now, eh?"

"I don't need surprises… It's not like you have to give me gifts all the time, you know."

"But we wanted to," Dad insisted. "Now shut up or we won't give you the surprise anymore."

"Dad!" Hermione pouted. Whether one denies it or not, everybody loves surprises.

Mum and Dad smiled at her. Their little baby was really growing up now. Growing up the right way, hopefully.

"So what's the surprise?" asked Hermione.

Hermione's parents laughed. Just laughed.

"C'mon! The thrill is killing me!"

"Okay okay..." It was mum who couldn't hold it any longer. "Well, ever since we discovered you had magic in you, well, it's definitely changed our lives. In the sense that it made you realize who you really are, and for us, we saw the world in a whole new perspective now. We know how important magic is to you and we just wanted you to continue being happy. So, we got you... a 4-day vacation at Archer Inn, free of everything!"

What. The. Where in heavens is Armor Inn whatever?

"What do you think? It took us a really long time to find the perfect vacation spot for you," Mum was talking. "I mean, we hardly knew any place in the wizarding world, except for Hogwarts and Platform 3/4."

Oh. It was an inn in the wizarding world.

"...And then by luck, we met someone who was actually a witch! We knew by the barely-noticeable Hogwarts crest on her son's tee, and she told us where we could bring you," Mum continued ranting. "It's supposedly one of those 'posh' establishments. She even helped us convert our money into gallons - "

"Galleons," Dad corrected her. He turned to the stunned Hermione. "So Archer Inn it is! Gemini said it's got everything, since they've got those special rooms where you can magically turn into any kind you like. You're gonna love it there! So what do you think?"

What did I think... Weren't they thinking about how I don't want to spend the holiday there? How I'm fed up with all that hocus pocus and just want to live the Muggle life, just for a moment? A sweet short moment? With them?

"Aren't you guys coming with me?"

"No no no! You enjoy yourself! This is like Senior year in High school for you, being in your last year and all. Plus, we're still gonna be working, especially since we already took our break last month. So you have to go for some unwinding."

Right now, the last place for my unwinding is not in the Wizarding World. Yet they were so happy. I couldn't possibly shatter their bliss, could I? I mean, this is a gift! You couldn't return a gift. It would be fucking impolite.

"Hermione?"

"You…" Hermione's voice was barely a whisper. She faked a smile. "I was so surprised. I didn't know what to say… Thanks, Mum, Dad…" She wondered how many more lies it would take to send her to Azkaban.

--

Hermione left on the 27th. It had taken her more than willpower to stand up, pack her bags and leave the Muggle world.

Her parents were fussier than ever, repeating the number of Gemini (the witch they'd met), reminding her again and again to write, checking and rechecking her reservations, almost to the extent of pushing her out of their door.

This was not how Hermione had imagined her break would be like. She had been thinking turkeys, gifts, puddings, snapdragons. She had wanted to go shopping with her mum in Fooming's, and go fishing with Dad and go pigging out with Granny, especially since she hadn't spent Christmas Eve with them. As far as her great brain could remember, going to some other place far away from home, I mean, in another world, was not part of her schedule. But here she was, pulling on a bulging suitcase, trying to hail a cab.

Hermione bit her lip as she got in the car, clutching her handcarry 'til her knuckles went white.

"To the train station please… No need to hurry. I have all the time."

--

_736 Archer Inn East, Miss Hermione Granger _

Hermione read the inscription on the keychain and sighed. _Five days in this friggin' hellhole… Oh well, have to live with that._ Hermione stepped inside the elevator and pressed 7. Without realizing it, she began to think of Malfoy; and she blushed, trying to change her thoughts. But still, she kept on thinking of him! Letting her thoughts flow, she replayed the winter ball, the kiss, Dumbledore's office (for their "wedding"), the broom closet, Harry's hurt and doubting voice…

"_Yes, Harry. In the broom closet, with Malfoy." _

_In a swift motion, Draco and Hermione untangled themselves from their "embrace". Neither knew what to say in this most awkward of moments. _

"_Thank you, Harry. You've been a great help," Dumbledore said to the stunned Gryffindor. _

"_But, w – " Harry started, demanding an explanation. _

"_You may return to your dormitory." Dumbledore said in a way that really meant, 'Run along now, you are not needed.' He faced the other two. "As for you two, come, follow me." _

_Hermione couldn't look at Harry, and she just passed him as if he was never there, standing in the corridor with slumped shoulders and unreadable face only Hermione could see – hurt. _

_It was a long awkward walk to the chapel. Draco and Hermione, about three feet away from each other, Dumbledore walking ahead. When they reached an empty corridor on the second floor, Dumbledore stopped in his tracks and began to laugh. Eerily, even for the sense of elves, but a laugh nonetheless. _

"_What's so funny?" Draco barked, annoyed at the sudden change of mood. _

_There were tears of mirth in Dumbledore's eyes when he turned to them. It was like seeing Santa Claus choking on his saliva in a sadistic streak of happiness. _

"_Professor, I don't understand…" Hermione, as smart as she claimed, was confused as hell too. _

"_You two! Ahahahaha!" Dumbledore was uncontrollable. He was just chortling and guffawing to his merry death. "What were you doing? In a broom closet! Haha!"_

_Draco was way past pissed off now. "Okay! First of all, I honestly don't understand what the bloody hell is so funny about this. Just so you know, we were in the broom closet, thinking of how to run away! So stop laughing because this isn't a funny matter for us."_

_By this time, Dumbledore's fit had subsided and he was studying the two with amused eyes. The situations they get into! "I knew you were running away or something to that idea. Snape had told me something was fishy between you two. Oh, by the way, Miss Granger, you honestly hurt his feelings when you said he 'dressed in emo-drag'; whatever emo means, he surely knew the meaning of drag." Hermione reddened, remembering her outburst._

"_Anyway," Dumbledore drawled on. "I knew you weren't the best of friends but I didn't know you hated each other so much you'd rather run away than face the marriage and work things out. I guess your fight is deeper than I had imagined… But a broom closet! Seriously!"_

_This time it was Draco's turn to go red. "Well, if it weren't for Snape, we would have found a more decent and spacious place to talk."_

_Dumbledore laughed again. "You kids! You're gonna kill me!" He sighed. "If you had followed my instructions and went straight to the chapel, you would've discovered that there really was no marriage."_

_The hall was dead silent. You know those western cowboy movies where it shows an abandoned town and all you could hear was the rustle of hanging carcass and dead grass? Exactly like that._

"_Why…didn't…you…tell us earlier!?" Hermione sounded like she could slit Dumbledore's throat and sell his head for fifty galleons. "Do you know how much we've gone through?!"_

"_Did you seriously think that I could let two teenagers jump onto the married life bandwagon just like that?" was Dumbledore's reply._

"_Holy balls of Merlin!" Malfoy exclaimed, excited, angry, frustrated, relieved all at the same time. "All that for nothing!"_

_Dumbledore snorted. "What nothing? What you did was still inappropriate behaviour, and both of you aren't getting away easy. You, meaning both of you, will have to serve detention after Christmas break."_

"_Why did you make up this marriage?" Hermione asked darkly._

"_I don't really know myself. I guess we'll know soon enough," Dumbledore said with a secret smile, which really meant, 'Of course I know but why should I tell you?'_

"_But why did you have to get Harry involved?" Hermione shouted, in the brink of tears._

"_Seeing me like that, and, and… You don't know how much he means to me."_

"_I didn't get him involved, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said calmly. "I merely asked for his help in finding you. How was I to know you were in the broom closet with Mister Malfoy here?"_

"_But – "_

"_And," Dumbledore interrupted a hurricane coming from the girl. "You don't know how much you mean to others, other than Harry."_

"_Like she'd actually mean something to others!" Draco muttered loudly._

_Hermione ignored him and turned to the Headmaster. "What do you – "_

"_I said, you'll know soon enough." Dumbledore smiled at them. "Happy holidays to you both!" And then, he was gone._

"_Weh… he didn't even bother to answer MY questions!" Draco whined. "That old git's such a Gryffindor fan!"_

"_Shut up, you sore eye," Hermione said through gritted teeth. Then, she calmed down remembering the fact that they were both free of each other. It brought a sense of relief and something else she couldn't explain and would dare not acknowledge._

"_Hey, as long as things are back to normal, I don't care if my presence makes you cry blood," Draco retorted, the smugness coming back. "Isn't that what you wanted too? You…nerd!"_

_Hermione sighed and grinned at Malfoy's poor attempt at mocking her in the Muggle way. "Well then, I'll tell you what I want…" She faced him, looking straight into those grey orbs, which sometimes turn a beautiful dark shade of emerald blue when the sun hits him just right._

"_Ehrm…" Unlike Hermione, Draco was very aware of the very little distance between them, and he was very distracted by it. Hermione placed her hands on Draco's shoulders. It was by impulse – fuckin' bloody hormones – which caused Draco's heart to beat faster._

"_Draco Malfoy," she slowly leaned towards him, and Draco's mind had completely stopped working. He could hear Hermione's breathing and feel the calm beating of her heart, contrary to the furious tribal dance of his, pounding, waiting for something._

"_Merry Christmas, Malfoy." She said softly and kissed him on his ear, and then walked away. Her words were scorching hot on his sensitive lobe, not because he was physically attracted to this Mudblood but because she said it with the sincerity of a final goodbye._

"_Wha- What was that for?" Draco was almost afraid to ask._

_Hermione turned back to face him and gave him a nonchalant smile. "I don't know what you really want. All I want is Harry back. I… honestly… don't want you." Draco thought he saw a fleeting hint of sadness pass by those brown eyes and he thought he felt his heart wince at her words. But it was just a thought and nothing more…_

"736 Archer Inn East, Hermione Granger, Vandamme Box." Hermione woke herself up from her reverie. She didn't even notice that she was standing in front of her room, staring at the knob for Merlin knows how long. In an instant, the door opened and she entered the room.

She surveyed the room. It wasn't very much, considering the staff knew of her ancestry, but it was decent enough. She threw her stuff on the floor and plopped herself on the bed. She sighed. _All I want now is to clear my head and start over._ Hermione Granger thought her mind would finally stop thinking once sleep has found her. Of course not.

Out on the tar plains the glides are moving  
All looking for a new place to drive

"_Harry." Hermione called the boy sitting on the bench with his back to her. She had spent the whole day trying to look for him. She had asked Ron for help and he went to Hogsmeade, saying he'd look for Harry there. He hasn't returned since then, and she suddenly realized that the git obviously knew where Harry was and didn't tell her. It only dawned to her much later that the most probable place Harry would be was the Quidditch field._

"_Harry, hey." She called out again but he wouldn't look at her. It broke her heart to see him like this. Especially when he was thinking of things that weren't even true. Yet, she couldn't blame him for what his own eyes saw._

You sit beside me so newly charming  
Sweating dew drops glisten fresh in your side

_Hermione walked towards Harry and sat next to him. She looked at him but he wouldn't even spare her a glance. There was no expression on the face of the Wonder Boy. It gave her goosebumps how _ordinary_ he looked this way. He seemed so vulnerable and weak. So she looked away and stared at the star-speckled sky._

The sun drips down bedding heavy behind  
The front of your dress all shadowy lined

"_I'm sorry for not telling you about this," she started talking to the vast blackness. "Malfoy and I were engaged to be… married." Her voice was cracking as she tried to explain. "It wasn't on purpose. The whole thing was an accident from the beginning. I know I should've told you guys, but I was too stubborn. I thought I could help myself, until the whole thing just blew out of proportion." Hermione sighed. "Malfoy and I weren't in Potions class, there was no explosion, we were in the washroom, but – "_

"_I don't want to hear it."_

_Hermione's mouth went dry and she could feel the tears starting to spill. Now, she felt so weak. Just six words from Harry and she almost lost it. She didn't imagine how six words would make her feel this way._

And the droning engine throbs in time  
With your beating heart

"_I don't want to hear you talking about Malfoy and nothing but Malfoy." Harry finally spoke, but with the seriousness of a wizard in duel. Hermione looked at him with hope. She thought… "Somehow, I knew something like this was happening ever since we sneaked out to The Three Broomsticks," he continued, still not looking at her. "Yet, I blinded myself because you said it wasn't like that. But I could see it. A little something, like a glance at the Slytherin table or a smirk from that smug little ferret. Whether this is all real or not, it still… hurt." Harry had said that last word in Hermione's face and the truth was there, evident in those tears that had so carelessly run down his cheeks._

"_I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Harry." Hermione couldn't help herself, and she started crying too. _

Sing blue silver

_The two of them just stayed that way, crying in front of each other, until the hiccupping had grown worse and Hermione almost choked on her saliva. She muttered a spell to get rid of their hiccups, and a fast one to clean their faces up. She glimpsed at him, too embarrassed to look straight in the eye. "I'm sorry, Harry. I should have told you. It's all right now though. It's already been settled. Things are back to normal."_

_The sides of Harry's mouth curled up for just a second. "It doesn't matter."_

And watch as lovers part I feel you smiling  
What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind

_Harry stayed quiet then, just staring painfully at Hermione. There was just something about this girl that he couldn't shake off his skin. Maybe it's her hair, or her eyes, or her brain, or the quirky way she smiled when she felt overly proud of herself, or the very sensitive heart she has for other creatures, or how she has always been there by his side. If only he could stop time at this very second and make Hermione stay that way – focusing only on him._

_But that couldn't be because even if he tried to stop it, even if he could control Hermione right now in her most vulnerable of states, even if he knew she was crying for him, he knew it wasn't only him. There was somebody else in her head, and Harry Potter didn't like to share. Much more with Draco Malfoy._

"_I really like you, Hermione," Harry said softly, closing the gap between himself and Hermione. They were so near, so close, yet so far, and Hermione's breath had already stopped. Harry moved even closer so that their noses were touching. "Do you know what time it is?"_

"_No, why?"_

"_It's a minute to midnight, and I'm wishing," wishing that you would come back to me._

_Their faces were only a kiss away from each other's, when Harry killed the moment by whispering, "So please, go away."_

_Hermione couldn't say anything. It felt like her mouth had been stitched and she could still feel the needle as it threaded her mouth close. She felt as if a latch hook had unraveled the pattern of her heart, scratching roughly at first as it tried to work the threads loose, until the intricate design unstitched itself smoothly into fluffs of fibre and wisps of broken string._

"_Then, I hope you have a merry Christmas." Hermione stiffly stood up and left the boy by himself, without so much as a glance goodbye._

To tear out from your eyes with a word to stiffen brooding lies  
But I'll only watch you leave me further behind

--

"How many days are you planning to stay, Malfoy?" Blaise Zabini asked as they walked to their suite.

"Probably a week… depending on the situation," Malfoy replied nonchalantly. "And depending on my mood, I guess," he added.

"1525 Archer Inn South Gardens, Zabini, Truffles," Zabini said and opened the door. The suite smelled of ancient scrolls, oak and Vaseline. But it didn't matter. Blaise went directly to the bar to get himself some Firewhiskey. "Help yourself, eh!" He shouted.

Draco walked towards the room on the right. He took off his shirt and was about to jump in when he noticed _it_. "Oh…no."

In horror, he ran outside and checked the other rooms – dining room, kitchen, bathroom, telly room, bathroom 2… He rushed back to the bedroom, and his stomach felt queasy at the sight.

"ZABINI!" Malfoy hollered. "Zabini! Come here!"

Groaning, Blaise joined Draco, a half-empty bottle in his hand. "Now what?"

"Look!" Malfoy half-screamed, pointing. "Look at that!"

Zabini turned his head to where Draco was pointing. "What?" He asked, irritated, but then he blushed at the view.

There, on the far corner of the room lay a velvet-covered vibrating water lovebed with pink aphrodisiac-infused sheets.

"Okay," Blaise's voice drawled. "So you just move to the other room… I'll sleep here."

"There is no other room."

"What!?"

"You got us a bloody honeymoon suite, you oaf!" Malfoy exclaimed in rage and sheer embarrassment.

"Honeymoon suite…?"

Draco closed his eyes, trying to block out the uncontrollable flood of images of him and Zabini together in, uh, Brokeback ways.

"Oh, shoot!" Zabini spat. For an Italian Slytherin, he sure was slow. "Sorry, Malfoy! I didn't know! I'll just get us another room…"

"No!" Malfoy shouted, wanting to chop Zabini into pieces. "You will sleep on the couch for the next hundred days until I leave!"

"But, Malfoy!" Zabini started to protest.

"That's what you get for trying your faggot moves on me!" Draco threatened, went in the room and let the vibrating bed lull him to sleep.

--

"And then you just wait for things to heat up…just continue to push and push and push!"

Hermione's eyes widened. "And then it will spurt hot white milk?"

The man laughed and winked at her. "Yep! Only 2 galleons flat for you, sweetie!"

Hermione blushed. "Why, thank you!" She gave him the money and the salesman handed her the Cow-Pumper. _Granny would love this,_ she thought. _It's much better than asking Tom to pump the animals in their farm in Winchester._

She looked around. What else? There were so many shops in the Archer Inn Complex and she had bought everyone in (and out) the family at least one souvenir. A teapot who'd wail if it's boiling for Mom, a Forever Burning Pipe for Dad, a box of Chocolate Frogs Deluxe Edition for Ron, a Harajuku doll for Ginny…and a miniature Quidditch field for Harry. She still bought him a gift, even if she wasn't sure she would actually give it to him. She was even thinking of buying him Illuminators, those new glasses which would turn to shades when out in the sun and back to ordinary transparent ones when inside.

_No… I've bought too much… _Hermione hesitated, pushing thoughts of Harry to the back of her mind. _And now that I think about it… _Her stomach growled. _A bowl of fresh salad wouldn't hurt._

Juggling a hundred bags in her arms, she started to dash to the nearest resto.

"Granger?" A voice called her.

That voice sounds awfully familiar. She slowed down, looking back. Zabini! She covered her face with a bag and walked faster. Must get away!

"Granger!" Footsteps following.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Hermione grumbled, trying to escape from Blaise while trying to avoid slamming against people. "I've had enough Slytherin encounters for half the year… And why is he following me? Oops. Sorry. What a fucker! Sorry, excuse me! What a complete id – aarggghh!!"

Hermione tripped and fell face flat on the cold marble floor. She groaned, trying to stand up and get her bags. She looked at her left shoe which felt awkward. The heel broke! She groaned deeper. _Just my luck!_

Completely oblivious of the disapproving looks of the other shoppers (most likely Pureblood socialites on vacation), Hermione crawled to retrieve her stuff – the teapot, the doll, the chocolates, the quidditch field, the pi – wait. "The quidditch field!" She shrieked, looking around. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!"

"I believe this is yours." The bag bearing the _Q: For All Your Quidditch Needs_ logo dangled over her face. Hermione sighed in relief, and reached for the bag. "Thank you very – Malfoy?"

Draco's face scrunched. "As much as I want my name to be remembered in history, I'm not dead excited about it being part of English vocabulary. It sounds awfully awkward for people to tell each other 'thank you very malfoy'. It just doesn't seem right. Don't you think so, Granger?"

Out of all the places, she thought the last person she'd see in Archer Inn was this very one right in front of her. The one reason why she was presently not very fond of the Wizarding World was this animal right here. It seemed like the more she ran away, the more he got closer and closer. Just when she thought everything was back on track, the incidents suddenly turned around in a mockery of their temporary bliss. Maybe life was a bitch because she was definitely teasing Hermione in the smuttiest of ways; and the witch knew however bad this striptease was, she'd still have to pay for it.

--

A/N: LMFAO at this chapter! XD So much metaphors and fukkin drama! Oops pardon my French As you probably know by now, my inspiration for this chapter was Deftones' The Chauffeur, which is so damn freaking sexxxay! Not to mention, I have been suffering LSS (Last Song Syndrome) for the last 3 days OO Aright, back to the story! Don't you think Harry being a selfish little tease fits him so well? Will Draco's hormones ever calm down? Is Hermione taking drugs? Is Blaise Zabini gay?! What sexy things will happen in Archer Inn?! Stay tuned to Slippery Soap Suds Chapter 13! :P Will I ever stop these shameless plugs!? LOL


	13. Blame It on the Booze

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: More delicious scenes for you! Thank you to my readers especially the reviewers. Not much reviews for the last chapter, which is sad D: which is why I've come up with a rule… If I don't reach at least 10 reviews for this chapter, I won't be updating this. LOL Or maybe not. Depends on my mood. :) Not to forget, a certain plot bunny is jumping around in my head and I don't want to start it without finishing this, which sucks because _Slippery Soap Suds_ is not done yet!!

Alritey, enjoy, mates! :D

**Chapter XIII: Blame It on the Booze**

"_I believe this is yours." The bag bearing the _Q: For All Your Quidditch Needs_ logo dangled over her face. Hermione sighed in relief, and reached for the bag. "Thank you very – Malfoy?"_

_Draco's face scrunched. "As much as I want my name to be remembered in history, I'm not dead excited about it being part of English vocabulary. It sounds awfully awkward for people to tell each other 'thank you very malfoy'. It just doesn't seem right. Don't you think so, Granger?"_

"Malfoy?" was Hermione's stunned reply.

"No, it's the cookie monster." Draco smirked, throwing the bag at her. "Close your mouth and stand up, Granger. You look pathetic."

Blushing, Hermione hurriedly stood up (with a slight limp) and fixed herself. "Thank you again," she said with a stiff formal tone. "Now if you will excuse me…"

Draco caught her wrist and asked. "What are you doing here, Granger?"

Hermione was quite taken aback. "I'm on vacation, like everybody else. What else would I be doing here? And why are you suddenly so interested in my affairs?"

"I'm not 'interested in your affairs'," Draco replied defensively. "It's just so…unlikely." _More like, coincidental._ He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "And you don't seem as if you have the resources…"

Hermione's eyes widened. "For the love of – "

"Granger! Granger!" Blaise was calling.

"Oh no!" Hermione muttered, and turned to go but it was too late. Zabini had caught up with her, huffing and puffing for breath.

"Holy, Granger!" He spat, still panting. "What in the blazes were you running away for?" He glanced at Draco, calmly surveying the scene. "Thanks for stopping this animal, Malfoy."

"My pleasure?" _("Animal?!")_

Blaise straightened up and stared at Hermione. "Are you deaf? Why didn't you stop when I called you? I've never chased some girl in my entire life! Don't tell me I look _that_ bad!"

"Yes, you do look _that_ bad," Hermione lied. In truth, Blaise was uniquely good-looking. Easy on the eyes, as they say. Dark-haired, hazel-eyed and olive-skinned, Blaise Zabini is one of the names you could find in Parvati and Padma's Hogwarts' Hottest list. Physically, he's really not _that_ bad. _Except for his personality, which could rival Malfoy's,_ Hermione thought darkly. _And like I'd ever admit it to his face! Animal, my arse!_

"What!" Blaise said, turning to Draco for support. "Seriously?"

Draco just rolled his eyes, as if saying, _I am not having this conversation_.

"We're not friends, Zabini," Hermione explained. "If someone randomly goes after you, shouting your name like Cerberus just escaped Hell, and you look and find out it's a Slytherin, it's normal for a Gryffindor girl, alone in a place she's never been to, to run away."

"So much for Gryffindor courage," Blaise said and frowned. "It's not like I'm gonna eat you or something. Here in Archer Inn, you're my customer. And being a customer who so carelessly left her purse in the Cow Pumping Station, I had to do my duty to return it to its rightful owner."

Draco's brow shot up. "What a _nice_ thing to do, Zabini."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Blaise threatened in a low voice. "My father's been monitoring my managerial work since I got here and no way in hell would I want to be kicked out of our family business."

"Even if you didn't mean it, and just because you're just doing your job," Hermione said hotly, snatching her purse from his hands. "Thank you and goodbye." There is just something with these little Slytherin pricks which make them so alike, so unnerving, so annoying, so irritating –

"Draco Malfoy! Yoohoo! Blaise Zabini!" Pause. "Hermione Granger?"

The three stiffened. That voice was way too annoying and pompous not to recognize.

"Pansy!" Blaise sort of laughed as he turned to the direction of the sound. "What a surprise!"

"Hello! Hello!" Pansy kissed Blaise and Draco's cheeks (and managed to squeeze a good portion of Draco's rump). "Granger!" She called at the frizzy-haired girl who thought she had just escaped the reunion party from hell.

Hermione turned back to them, and smiled, keeping their three-meter distance. "Hi, how are you, _Pansy_? Lovely to see you." Her voice oozed with poisonous sweetness that Draco and Blaise flinched while Pansy, being the thick bimbo that she was, welcomed the attack.

"All's good, all's good!" Pansy forced a chortle. "I didn't expect to see _you_ here, much more with…"

"Oh nonononoooo, I was just passing by, you know… minding my own business." _Get the hint, bitch._

Pansy laughed again. "For an impossibly funny second, I thought you had come with Draco and Blaise. _("What! Are you daft?" Draco and Blaise in background.)_ So we'll be seeing one another at the buffet tonight, I presume?"

"Suuuuuure, I'd love to keep your company," Hermione _smiled_. "Whoop-dee-doo, look at the time! I really have to go!" And she escaped for good this time.

"Okay, got the bug out," Pansy said, putting her arms around both guys. "Now where will _we_ go?"

Draco and Blaise stared enviously at Hermione's retreating figure, getting smaller and smaller and farther and farther away from Pansy. Unfortunately for them, they were stuck with her.

Draco squirmed out of Pansy's death hold and asked, "I don't remember inviting you here, Pansy."

"You didn't," Pansy replied. "I'm on vacation."

"Here?" Draco was suspicious.

"Anything wrong with that?" She batted her lashes, all the while caressing Blaise's arm.

Draco eyed her. "You didn't come here to stalk me and try to get me drunk and have unprotected sex with me so you'll get a little Malfoy while I get some fuck disease from you?"

Pansy's eyes widened. "Ouch but no!" Her eyelids batted furiously.

_Oh Merlin no, she did,_ Draco thought helplessly.

-.-.-.-.-

"I'd like a souvlaki brought to my room, please." Hermione called room service. "And could you bring a foot spa too?"

It had been a long day for Hermione, and even if she didn't want to admit it, she had fun shopping and looking around. Except for the part where she bumped into the Slytherin pack. Ugh. Not to mention, she had to run all the way to her room missing a shoe!

And Malfoy. She hadn't expected to see him at all. He always popped up in the most random of places and at the worst of times. But what confused her most was that she didn't feel threatened by him anymore or something like that. She felt as if it was normal to see him everyday and have a half-civil conversation with him. She actually felt as if she'd met a friend.

Lies! She cringed. Malfoy and friend didn't sound right together. It was more like, seeing Malfoy so suddenly had unnerved her. Not just Malfoy, of course. Zabini, too. And Pansy…was just being her Pansy little self. And did that _fanny_ really think Hermione would go to that buffet thing and _mingle_? With _them_? _Slytherins?_ Ho ho! Good one!

"I'm sorry, miss. We don't serve the customer in their rooms tonight. Dinner will be served at the buffet room."

"What? Can't you send some up to my room?"

"No, miss. Management orders."

"Are you telling me that I have to go down seven floors to the buffet to eat?"

"Yes, miss."

"Can't you bring some up to me? Please?" Hermione tried the cute lady act, words laced with meaning. "Consider it a special request."

"Although it's a very irresistible offer, I can't, miss."

"Merlin, I'm awfully tired, I have a swollen foot, this whole we-won't-serve-you-because-you-have-to-go-to-the-buffet thing is very inconvenient, not to mention, very illegal! Did you know that this is violating Section V.ii of the Hotel and Restaurant Manifest? I am a freaking customer and you won't give me some service?! Are you serious?"

"Yes, miss. Anything else?"

"Actually yes… Would you kindly push your bleeding management orders up your arse? That would be lovely." Hermione replied and hung up with a bang. What the hell?!

On the other line, Blaise was laughing his ass off.

"I don't see what's so funny in prank calls, Zabini," Draco said, arms folded and looking at Blaise sternly. "Especially with becoming phone pals with a Mudblood…"

"She just whored herself to me and cursed like a bloody sailor when I refused!"

"That's because you wouldn't send her food. Now what would your father say?"

Blaise made a face and took another gulp of his beer. "Look who's talking! Let me remind you who was, with reasons unknown even to his closest friend, spending so much time with the Mudblood before the break…who was (by fate?) the Mudblood's dance partner…who was seen dragging a brutally love-bitten Mudblood out of a truly shocked and traumatized Great Hall…who – "

"I get the idea, you doofus," Draco barked, hitting Blaise on the head. "That doesn't mean it's okay to be in contact with their…kind. Everything that happened, happened…and will not happen again." He looked away. His last words didn't sound strong enough.

Blaise gave him a weird look. "Draco, what really happened?"

"I'm hungry. Let's go."

-.-.-.-.-

"Orange juice?" Hermione innocently asked a waiter carrying a tray full of glasses of orangey liquid. Did you really think Hermione Granger would starve herself to death in a hotel room? Of course not! That, and the fact that she wanted to talk to the bloody management of this inn, which means, of course, Blaise Zabini. She would give him a piece of her mind on how customer service should be done.

The waiter looked at her, hesitated, and then smiled. "Si, orange juice." He winked at her and went away, leaving a glass to a very confused Hermione. "What was that wink for? Pervert…"

-.-.-.-.-

Draco thought blood would leak out of his ears. One more laugh and he would really strangle Parkinson! He and Blaise had been peacefully eating dinner when she arrived, all dolled up like a cheaper version of Rita Skeeter. Blaise was too glad to accept her. He was drunk out of his mind and wouldn't mind a plaything to end his day. But if Draco stayed one more minute, he'd risk a threesome. And that would be just…disgusting.

"Holy sweet potatoes!" Blaise said, suddenly standing up and returning Draco to reality. "Granger is making a scene! Crap!" All of them looked towards the direction of Blaise's horrified expression and found (to Draco's amusement) Hermione Granger dancing suggestively on top of the bar where a throng of men had begun cheering her on. Anyone could see she was smashed but it took a while before two security men carried her to a seat. Red in the face, Blaise muttered, "Excuse me while I go slaughter her." On cue, Draco got up and firmly pushed Blaise back to his seat.

"I'll talk to her." Without another word, Draco went sashaying among the crowd, towards the action.

"Malfoy!" Blaise called, frowning. _He had a feeling this was not a good idea._

"Where you going, baby?" Pansy said.

"Don't 'baby' me if you don't want to wake up bald in the morning," Draco answered, not bothering to look back.

"Draco's changed," Pansy whispered.

"My, how very observant of you, Pans." He winked at her.

"Sod off, Blaise!" Pansy replied, hitting him playfully on the arm. "I'm serious."

"He hasn't changed, Pansy. He's just keeping something secret," Blaise answered, following Draco's back with his eyes.

-.-.-.-.-

Hermione knew in the recesses of the sober part of her mind that she shouldn't have trusted that fucked up waiter, giving her a drink she thought was non-alcoholic. Keyword: alcohol. "Orange juice, my arse!" Hermione shouted, pounding on the bar in irritation at how she had once again humiliated herself.

"A Cock Sucking Cowboy for your thoughts?"

"Excuse me?" Hermione looked up to see a stocky middle-aged man putting a shot glass full of liquid heaven in front of her.

"Shooter for you, missy, courtesy of that handsome young man over there," the bartender replied, pointing to a dark figure sitting idly across her seat, looking very much the role of a mysterious stranger. "Drink up, lass. That's mighty fine!"

Hermione's eyebrow rose up and a smile appeared playfully on her lips. "Give him a Blow Job with my love, mister." She watched as the bartender mixed the drink with a wink and approached the man who laughed upon learning of her treat. She downed her shot just as the bartender came back with a smirk on his face. "He said he'd rather you give him a Wet Pussy."

"Well, a Blow Job's all he'll be getting from me tonight," Hermione remarked, dizzily turning away from the bar. _How cocky and pandalicious!_

"Rather interesting," a voice drawled from behind her. "And here I thought I'd be getting a Cold Virgin. Pun very much intended."

"Quite the joker, aren't we?" Hermione said, looking back to see a green and yellow bob floating before her eyes. Groggily, she rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand and peered at Cocky Mystery Man with narrowed slits. No use. That Brokeback shot was good, indeed! "You know you sound very familiar. I know a person who sounds just like you..." At this, Draco confirmed that she really was sloshed, completely arseholed to the point that she couldn't even recognize him. "As cocky as you, too, really."

"I know I'm cocky," Draco replied amusedly. "Care for a demonstration?"

"My, my, that tongue of yours has a way with words, mysterious man," Hermione suddenly purred, leaning closer to him. "I wonder what else it does."

Draco frowned. He could smell the drink in her breath and those glazed half-lidded eyes spelled things out. Plus, in real life, Hermione Granger would never ever flirt with a stranger. She's supposed to be a, a _prude_. She really is plastered. No shit! "You see her situation and you still give her drinks?" He said to the bartender, eating him with his eyes.

"Got no prob with that!" The bartender replied defensively. "Girl showed me her RD1 card. And wasn't it you who bought her a shot earlier?" He shrugged away and went to another customer.

Draco stared at Hermione who was licking her lips like a ten-year-old with ice cream on her face, pouting at him with drugged eyes. "Show me your RD1 Card."

"That's what you came here for? Get your own RD1 Card, bitch!"

Draco rolled his eyes and accio'd her card from her purse _("You can't do that!")._ It showed a crude blending of Hermione Granger and some other girl named Dawn Morning Glory. An RD1 Card or Responsible Drinker Level 1 Card gave a person a limit of 25 liters when drinking or buying anything with alcohol content. He looked at Hermione. He didn't think she was Level 1…not even Level 2. In fact, she wouldn't even pass for the lowest card.

"Hey, give it back!" Hermione finally said. "Ey! Oi! D'you hear me?" She hiccupped. "That's mine."

Draco smirked. "Oh, this is yours, _Dawn Morning Glory?_"

"Hell yeah!" Hermione said, eyeing him. Then, she smirked. Yes, she smirked. "You know, (hiccup) when I squint my eyes and all I could see is rainbow colors, you're not (hiccup) pretty bad at all. You give off this sickly horny smell that kinda makes me want (hiccup) to jump you."

"What!?" _I give off a sickly horny smell?_

"Now. now, what's with this sudden virginal act? (hiccup) Weren't you being the cocky bastard a while ago? How about (hiccup) I give you a treat?" Hermione said playfully and without waiting for his reply, snaked her hand towards Draco's inner thigh and gave it a little squeeze strong enough to transfigure his legs to Jell-O; all the while squealing at Draco's scandalized expression for all it's worth.

"The fuck, Mudblood!" Draco exclaimed, hastily pushing her hand away. "You are so drunk, do you even know me?"

"I gave you my treat; now please give me back my RD1 Card?" Hermione tried to coax him with cuteness, totally ignoring Draco's words. "And my name is not Mublah, it's Dawn Sunshine Shit."

"Not working," Draco said in a huff, avoiding Hermione's gaze as he frantically looked around the place. _She just groped me! In public! Hermione Granger!_

"Fuhuuck! Why (hiccup) won't you just give it to me? What you being a prat for?" Hermione cursed, and then suddenly her head dropped on the counter. She was groaning and she faced Draco, eyes half-closed, but she didn't raise her head.

"Oh, boy!" Draco muttered.

"Oh, girl!" Hermione replied, chuckling.

"You're freakin' weird, Granger," was all Draco said.

"Granger is, isn't she?" Hermione replied, smiling at no one in particular. "She's so weird, with her zebra stripes and fake smile and fake courage. (hiccup) Know what I think, she doesn't even know herself. Sometimes, I confuse myself… (hiccup) why I feel this or that or that or this…hahahaaaa… You know I love Harry, don't you?" Malfoy made a face. He did not want to hear Granger and Potter's love story.

"It's so obvious, the whole school knows but him," Hermione continued. "Does he like me back?" She waited for an answer but the answer never came. "See. Silence. It's so fucked up! I always thought I had a (hiccup) chance. _I could feel it._ But Harry doesn't (hiccup) even want to talk to me anymore. Fuck fuck (hiccup) fuck! And do you know (hiccup) why? Because of Malfoy!

-"Me? What did I do this time?"

You know Draco (hiccup) Malfoy, right? The whole bloody wizarding world knows the bloody Malfoys. And that shit's stuck in his head, he feels like he's so gre(hiccup)at, just because he's a rich Pureblood bitch. In reality, Malfoy is just a babied prat! An insecure ignoramus, an oversized (hiccup) knobhead, not to forget a racist arsehole!"

Malfoy, face red, opened his mouth to react.

"But I don't know anymore," Hermione continued and Draco closed his mouth, and looked at her. Seriously.

"Ever since the bathroom incident…oh yeah we made out in a bathroom yes sir. Not the most pleasant of situations but Merlin (hiccup), does that smarmy git know his lips well!" At this, Draco flinched and yet found himself smirking.

"Ever since that, things…well, things haven't been the same for me. I despise him with my whole being but suddenly he seemed to be occupying a huge (hiccup) amount of time in my mind. I'm scared. I'm so terrified. Do you know the possibilities if he'd permanently stay in my system?

-"God forbid."

Harry and Ron would HATE me! I piss in my (hiccup) pants just thinking about it!" Draco's laughter interrupted her, and she frowned as she continued, "I don't fancy him – I hope – I just think he could actually be nice -- sometimes, (hiccup) which I like, (hiccup) which is wrong (hiccup) because that would mean all those principles I've built would topple down. I keep telling myself he's evil,

-"I'm not evil!"

that this is just the effect of not having a boyfriend for some time now, (hiccup) that this is just the bloody fucking hormones, that this is just because (hiccup) Harry friggin' Potter is being a totally insensitive idiot. I tried to kill the thought of him a million (hiccup) times but I only succeeded in overlapping it with thoughts of - (hiccup) Malfoy. Pathetic (hiccup) and wrong, I know, considering the fact that now I (hiccup) find myself leaning towards (hiccup) the person who hates me most." Hermione laughed and gave out a long belch.

"Why is he being so difficult?" Hermione sighed. "Do you know how hard it is to control myself every time he is around? It's like alcohol. I have an alcohol problem, you know. It tastes so good even though you know it's bad for you. Too much could kill you, but a few drops taste like heaven and you couldn't stop." She gave him a sad smile which almost made Draco feel sorry for Hermione's love life. _Almost. I mean, I couldn't blame the guy for being jealous of me. Everyone knows Potter is a walking bomb of emotions. I understand he feels threatened, I am rather good-looking,_ Draco thought while Hermione ranted on. "It seems as if his secret goal in life is to seduce me out of my wits! And even if my assumption isn't true, I don't think he knows he is tormenting me with all those looks and touches. Oh gods, the touches! His mere sodding presence affects me, for crying out loud! I hate that! _I hate him! I hate Draco Malfoy!_" She said this with ultimate spite, such intensity Malfoy was sure her very breath could burn anything at contact.

And it only took a millisecond for him to process what she just said. _She was talking about me?_

Silence. Draco didn't know what to think or say. He was locked in this moment. When a drunken Hermione Granger professed her hate for him because she feels something for him; and somehow knowing that, instead of rejoicing over successfully making Potter's life hell, his heart felt a trillion times heavier. He just froze up. Even when Hermione was barfing on the counter, almost choking at the magnitude of her own vomit, he didn't budge. Even when the bartender told him to bring his girlfriend somewhere because he didn't have time to make a potion for her and Jesus, have mercy even if he doesn't know her.

"M-malfoy…"

Only when Hermione croaked his name did he snap out of his stupor, mutter a weak _Scourgify_, and carry her to 1525 Archer Inn South Gardens.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Worth a review? I hope I did it _just_ right. I had fun writing this chapter. ;) Excuse Hermione's mood swings and change in character please. Blame it on the booze! ;)

_Chapter 14 Teaser:_

"_What a pity you don't remember what happened last night…"_

_Hermione froze. "Wha-what do you mean?"_

_Draco pouted and pretended to be examining his nails. "And here I was looking forward for tonight… You did promise me an awful lot of things."_

"_DRACO MALFOY, EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT!"_

Excited for the next chapter?! You better be! Because I am! XD Hail the unresolved sexual tension!


	14. It's Not Assault if it's Consensual

**Slippery Soap Suds**

A/N: So, it seems like I update this fic twice or thrice a year =)) I'm terribly, terribly sorry for that. I blame it on University once again. :) (And other fanfiction ideas in my head.) So here's the next bit for this Dramione which happens to be one of my favourites, because things finally get m-u-t-u-a-l! hehe

Alritey, enjoy, mates! :D

**Chapter XIV: It's Not Assault if it's Consensual**

Hermione Granger opened her eyes only to be greeted by a pair of steely grey ones.

Fucking shit. She could feel his leg wrapped around hers.

Instantly, she got up and was about to step out of the bed (correction, wobble out of the fuckin' water bed) when she noticed she was only wearing an olive green Slytherin shirt.

"Morning, Granger."

To which, Hermione very slowly turned her head, mouth forming a (very delectable, in Draco's opinion) "O" of horror. She found herself looking back at a very suspiciously-smirking and very half-naked Draco Malfoy beside her, under the very same bed sheets.

Oh sweet holy Merlin.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice croaked.

"What a pity you don't remember what happened last night…"

Hermione froze. "Wha-what do you mean?"

Draco pouted and pretended to be examining his nails. "And here I was looking forward for tonight… You did promise me an awful lot of things."

"DRACO MALFOY, EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT!"

"There is nothing to explain!" Draco said, half-smiling. "Why must you analyze everything? You were enjoying me last night, no questions asked…"

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Malfoy. I'm not joking!"

"Who said I was?" Oh, what fun you are, Granger.

Draco was given full view of the different shades of red as Hermione coloured darker every minute; and he decided to push her buttons a wee bit further as he sauntered closer to her and whispered breathily in her ear, "Granger, if there's one thing you should know about me – I don't joke around when I'm fuck-ing."

Hermione's eyes darkened and before Draco could finish and gurgle in amusement, she hexed him with her strongest _Stupefy_. "Bloody hell!" She paced around the room, biting her fingernails and muttering, "I messed up I messed up I messed up I messed up I messed up…" She glanced at him and couldn't help flushing at his unconscious state. It was definitely hard to look at a semi-naked Malfoy. Her cheeks burned as she processed his words. _Fuck, I slept with him!_ She could self-combust in shame any moment now.

xxxxx

The smell of fried eggs woke Draco. He yawned and his stomach grumbled. Then, he noticed the breakfast laid out on the table beside the bed. The note beside it simply read:

_Thank you for the hospitality. But to make it clear, you slept with the alcohol last night, not me. I'd appreciate it if we do not talk about any of this, if we ever meet in the future. – HG_

xxxxx

Blaise Zabini was whistling on his way to his room. He had a good night and had a good lay even if it was with a not-so-good woman, though in fairness, Pansy was very good with her tongue.

"Malfoy!" He called, walking into the other's room. "You wouldn't believe – " He surveyed Draco's room and found a) Malfoy on his bed with a half-eaten breakfast with b) a note in his hand, and c) the second pillow beside him showing signs of use; but d) no woman in sight. Something was wrong.

"All right, what happened?" Blaise said, grinning smugly. Draco Malfoy _always_ got out of bed before any woman.

"Nothing." Draco stared at him, crumpling the note. Blaise's eyes dropped furtively to Draco's hand. "What's that, then?" Draco looked at the crumpled note, stared back at Blaise and ate the note.

Blaise almost choked when Malfoy swallowed the paper. "What the hell!?"

"Just in case you get any ideas… and rummage the trash or _Reparo_ it or anything funny like that." Malfoy replied, getting up and putting on a shirt. "I'm going out for a walk."

Blaise chuckled in disbelief and amusement as the door closed. _Who the hell is this girl?!_

xxxxx

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Hermione frowned, turning off her blowdryer and headed for the door which someone was happily banging on the other side. She had just finished showering, scalding her skin to get rid of whatever lingered from last night – which she doesn't even remember. She clearly didn't rub good enough because she could still feel how his skin felt against hers this morning.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Coming!" With a sigh, Hermione opened the door and her nostrils flared at the sight of the devil on her doorstep. "Malfoy," she managed to say.

Draco gave her a very creepy smile. "Why hello, Granger."

"What do you want?"

"Hmm… how do I say this?" Draco started, folding his arms. "In the rather, ah, confusing state of events, we managed to exist with each other and I, out of the greatness of my heart, cared for you in your time of dire need… So tell me what your ingenious little mind was thinking when you damn well hexed me!"

"Oi, Malfoy!" An irritated Hermione started, hands on her hips. "Do you expect me to stay calm after waking up in your bed with your nipples in my face and hearing we did each other?! I had every right to curse you, and I'd do it again if I should! These days, it's called _caring_, huh? In my book, it's still sexual harassment! I was under the influence and you took advantage of that."

The smirk was back. "Granger, Granger… It's not assault if it's consensual."

Blood drained from Hermione's face. "I don't believe you," she said in a small voice that didn't sound very convincing.

"Do you want me to refresh your memory?" Draco took a step forward.

Alarmed, Hermione shoved him back roughly. "Fine, whatever! If anything did happen, you must have been so bad that I don't remember it!"

"I was so _good_ that even your head came and exploded so now, you don't remember it!"

"Bugger off!" Hermione blushingly exclaimed, shooing Draco away from her room. "I already thanked you for helping me sober up. It was clearly written in the note."

_Oh yes… the note,_ Draco mused. _The note which I swallowed. Of course, I'd know._ "No, I'm not going away until you compensate me for that stunt of yours. Your little breakfast was thanks for not leaving you in the bar for the big bad wolves to eat up." He checked his watch and walked away. "All right, I'll see you downstairs in fifteen."

Hermione's jaw had dropped and Draco was at the door of the lift when she replied, "I'm not going."

He turned to her with a grin that could rival said big bad wolf's. "Yes, you will. If you don't go, you'll never know what happened to your black lace brassiere." He waved goodbye as the doors closed on him.

Hermione wished the lift would go straight to hell.

xxxxx

"Two scoops of strawberry with rainbow syrup and stardust on top for the lady; and a bowl of Chocolate Teeth-breakers for the gent."

He took her to an ice cream shop. Hermione could not be more bewildered and suspicious of him. _This is dangerous._ She cautiously tasted her dessert, watching him as he popped his sweet in his mouth.

Draco sighed exaggeratedly. "Now this is good stuff! You can get these babies only at Archer Inn."

Hermione leaned closer to him and snapped, "Okay, no games. What did you do to my undergarments?"

Draco laughed, seeing Hermione's sparkling rainbow-coloured tongue. "I'll tell you if you successfully finish three of these Teeth-breakers in one go," Draco replied, his whole mouth slightly quivering from the effects of his dessert. He handed Hermione the circular confections and rested his chin on one hand to enjoy the show.

Hermione, wary and confused, slowly brought the balls into her mouth. Her eyes grew wide as the ice cream literally exploded in her mouth, causing her teeth to chatter in frosty chocolate bliss.

"Y-yoouu f-ff-fuck-k-ker!" She cried, one ball falling from her mouth, some chocolate dripping down her chin. She drank some water to calm her senses, and seized a napkin to wipe her face with.

"Did you like it?" Draco asked, eyeing the melting ball on the table and then at Hermione. His eyes were sparkling in sadistic triumph.

Hermione's eyes met his and narrowed as she watched him gobble up the rest of the Teeth-breakers like they were nothing. She may not know his motives, but she knew his tactic – he was stalling.

Licking his fingers free of chocolate, Draco whispered casually to Hermione, "Now, listen carefully, Granger. I am going to take your hand and at the count of three, we will run out of the shop." He glanced at her open rainbow mouth and grabbed her hand. "One."

"Malfoy! What do you think you're doing?" Hermione hissed, gripping his hand tight. _This is dangerous…_

"Two." He was not listening. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, as his heartbeat increased its rhythm.

However, Hermione was panicking. "Hey, I have some knuts if you don't have any on you. You don't have to be so –"

"Three!"

Hermione didn't get to finish. Draco had literally flown her out of the shop with him. They were running Merlin-knows-where, oblivious to the shouts of the shop keepers, while the wind whipped at their faces as some kind of celestial punishment. She couldn't feel her legs; she was floating. She couldn't hear anything but Draco's child-like laughter.

She momentarily forgot about her underwear and that her left hand was currently entwined in Draco's right.

They were in a park when Draco finally slowed down. Hermione headed directly to the nearest tree and leaned on its trunk, letting out a deep breath.

"Wicked!" Draco exclaimed happily, following Hermione, who was looking at him in spite.

"How dare you!" Hermione was yelling, pointing an accusing finger at him. "How dare you recruit me in your criminal activities?"

Draco scoffed, "Criminal? Your legs are criminal… Ouch!"

Hermione had thrown a branch at him. Exasperated, she slid down the tree and sat on the ground, muttering, "This is madness. I'm mad! I don't even know what I'm doing here with you… for a bra? Seriously? I should leave…right now!" She hadn't even heard Draco squatting next to her.

"What are you muttering there for? Have you gone mad?" Draco asked, poking her arm.

"Okay, Malfoy," Hermione turned to him with a serious face. "Give me my bra right now so I can walk away and never have to see you again."

Draco appeared as if he was thinking about it. "Then, I'm never giving back your bra."

"Then, keep it. I'm leaving," Hermione started to stand up but Draco held her and pulled her back down.

"No, stay! I'm so bored. I need something to do… or _someone_ to do." His eyebrows were waggling.

"Seriously, Malfoy, stop that!" Hermione angrily replied.

"What, love?"

"That! This, this – flirting!" Hermione stammered, trying not to meet his eyes. "It's unnatural!"

"Granger."

" – disgusting and the fact that we shagged! Ugh – "

"Granger!"

" – repulsive and not going to – "

"Hermione! We didn't shag, okay?"

"Huh?" Hermione stared confusedly at him. What the…?

"I didn't dip my dick in you, so come off it already!" Draco was getting irritated. How stupid could she be? "If we'd done it, you should be so sore right now because yeah, I'm that good."

Hermione's jaw had dropped so low Draco had to close her mouth for her. After which she quickly pounced on him and screamed, "Bloody hell! How dare you fuck around with me! Fucking fudgecakes!" She took a deep breath. Suddenly, his back was on the ground and her arms were around his neck. "Thank Merlin we didn't shag! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She exclaimed excitedly, now hugging Draco to the point of suffocation.

"Draco."

"What?" Draco felt as if he couldn't breathe. No, Hermione wasn't suffocating him anymore. Her head was on his chest and she was so close his nose hairs could feel her. He didn't even notice she was using his name or that he called her by her name earlier, nor did she notice she was using his.

"Thank you for taking care of me and, and… being a friend last night."

Draco didn't really know what to say to that. He couldn't even do anything. His body wasn't listening to him. It was curling around her warmth, dangerously close to something called an embrace. "I…I'm not your friend."

"What are we then?"

It took a while for Draco to reply. "Not sure… Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know!" Hermione answered, irritated. "You confuse me!"

"I confuse you?" Draco laughed at this. "Then, by definition," He continued slowly, thinking of something to describe their relationship. Neither had the courage to utter the word _lover_ or anything implying that. Technically, they weren't even lovers, but neither could deny that there was something. Attraction, maybe? Who knows? "By definition, we are… we could be clandestine contacts."

"Could you get any cheesier?" Hermione was grinning.

"I don't see you coming up with anything, Miss Smarty-pants!" Draco fumed, obviously embarrassed.

"I think I like it, though," Hermione said, smiling at him. "It's safe." Still grinning, she playfully wrapped her arms around his waist. She didn't know what possessed her to do that. What scared her was that it felt all right.

Draco's eyebrows shot up. "What is this?"

Hermione chewed her lip, trying not to laugh. "We're 'clandestine contacts', aren't we? Just keeping physical contact with you."

"That doesn't count."

"You're not flinching."

"I trust you." Draco had never said anything more real in so long. He lowered his head and took her mouth in a slow soft kiss.

And thus, their worlds shifted, meshing into one fated to propel downward, gaining momentum every second they realize that they could not breathe without the other.

Hermione broke free and lifted her head away from him. She needed some distance.

Draco caught his breath. Hesitantly, he asked, "Did I scare you?"

"…Yes."

"Why?"

Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't say the words. "Just because." She sneaked a look at him and saw his mouth set in a grim straight line. Maybe it was the light; maybe it was her eyes. But for a moment there, he looked sad.

"Tell me," he said. Two words never felt more like an Imperio.

Hermione sighed and blushed slightly. She looked at him the moment he looked away. "You make me wanna do things."

He stared at the mush of melted ice beneath his boots. He stared at her.

Before she knew it, Hermione was crushed against the tree; Malfoy's arms around her waist, Malfoy's lips against hers.

Hermione's heart felt as if it leapt over a twenty-foot building and was crushed by ten thousand bludgers. It was screaming _Draco! Draco! Draco!_ over and over again. "Malfoy, please!" She gasped, pushing him away weakly.

Draco held her even tighter and captured her lips in his again. Kissing Granger felt so necessary. It was a need he'd been depriving himself of. It was wrong… so wrong. But it was absolutely delicious. Soft strawberry velvet heaven with a touch of Irish cream.

This time, Hermione's arms slithered around him and her hands slowly moved against the back of his head, pulling him in closer for more. Lost in lust, Draco let his hands roam free, resting across her back and giving her hip a little squeeze.

She broke free from his embrace and looked at him in shock, disbelief and confusion. "This is not good."

"I know." He kissed her again, and she pulled away again, although weaker than the first time.

"We shouldn't do this." Hermione was whispering and her voice was cracking and so sensually low.

"I know." Draco couldn't help but pull her back into his arms. "But I don't want you to go."

Hermione reached up and pressed her lips roughly on his. "I know," she whispered before tasting him once more.

xxxxx

"See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Hermione repeated after Draco's retreating form. He had walked her to her building in silence and she thought that what happened was his form of goodbye but his last words said otherwise.

"Yea," Draco replied, as if it was natural for them to be setting dates together. "I don't know what time exactly…so that means you can't go anywhere until I get here."

"What the hell!"

Draco came back and added, smirking, "Until then, your lovely brassiere is in my capable hands."

"What is this that I hear about brassiere?"

Draco and Hermione both turned to see Blaise Zabini approaching them. He had a wicked, wicked smile on his face, and that usually meant no good.

"None of your business, Zabini," Hermione snapped and was about to tell him off when Draco interrupted.

"Granger here was just embarrassed because I saw her bra strap falling through her sleeves this afternoon," Draco explained, laughing a little. "You should've seen her face. Comical little thing!"

"What? I did not!"

"Ahhh… so what were you two doing together in the afternoon?" This time for sure, Hermione saw Blaise's eyes sparkle with mischief.

"Oh I was just in the ice cream shop and she was there." _Smooth, Draco, smooth._ Draco praised himself inwardly.

"Of course! What was I thinking?" Blaise laughed apologetically. "So what did you get?"

"Teeth-breakers, of course!" Draco replied, forcedly joining Blaise in his laughter. "You know I wouldn't get anything else but those! Ha! Ha!"

"And Granger?"

"Strawberry ice cream with rainbow syrup and stardust…" Hermione smiled warily. Even though Blaise was Draco's friend, he was still a Slytherin and she did not trust him. Not one bit. "It's nice to have bumped into both of you," she said, heading inside. "But it's been a long day… So, until then…"

"Rest well!" Blaise answered and Draco plainly nodded at her.

When Hermione had gotten in the lift, Blaise turned back to Draco and sneered at him.

"What, you creep?"

Amused, Blaise replied, "Like hell I'd believe you didn't snog Hermione Granger." He started to walk in the direction of the South Gardens annex. "Now share all the (ahem) _gory_ details…"

Draco ran after him and cried, "Are you mad, Zabini? I did no such thing!"

Blaise laughed and winked at him. "Draco, my boy – next time you fib, make sure your rainbow tongue isn't sparkling. The glare is bad for my eyes."

xxxxx

A/N: I really just want to finish this story. It's been five years in the making! O_O it needs to rest… Suggestions? Comments? Are you readers even still there?

So… until next year then? =)


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